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Resolutions 2011!

Like I had promised to this blogspace, you all and myself..here are the Resolutions 2011..as if they have been accomplished

1. Wow I can speak French!   I started learning in April 2011 via Online tutorials and if I got lucky to meet someone to practice speaking it with too. I started Start date – April 2011. It’s the end of the year and I can speak proper entire grammatically correct sentences in French now. Merci beau coup!

2. I got an awesome 20% hike in salary from June 2011 onwards.

3.  I had got my passport in June 2011.

4.  I had got released from my last project in July 2011 and then I got my awaited Onsite project for New York in August 2011. Amazing!!! I was so thrilled ! YAY!! I’ve also been earning a lot of money here and saving almost 40% of it, even after I send 40% home and have 20% to myself, its more than enough for me.

5.  My apartment in New York is amazing. Its exactly what I had dream of. So much like Carrie’s apartment.

6. I’ve learned how to save money. I had been saving 10% of my salary since April 2011 until I moved to New York.  And I saved it all and gave it to mom before coming here.

7.  I learnt how to swim underwater in summers of 2011.

8. I have been a religious follower of Yoga since March 2011. Its become part of my life now, part of me, its just as important as waking up for me. I weighed myself in beginning of June 2011 to be 50 kgs and today I just weighed to be at the same.

9. I have learnt so much Yoga this year. I read books and then took some classes back in India. It really opened my mind to so many new things about our life, body, peace. I just started teaching Yoga here in New York at a centre.

10. I have finished my first novel. It is in review with many publishers and the offers are pouring in. I started writing it in July 2011 and completed it in November 2011.

11. Boys had been plenty this year. I had dated 3 guys back in Delhi, obviously one at a time and they were all nice. 2 indians and 1 firang. It was a good experience and I also parted as friends with them, no ugly endings, coz we were on the same page before starting anything. Here in New York, I have been dating guys, and mentionable is only 1 since, he’s who I’m currently dating. So far so good.

12.  I have learnt so much about nutrition. partly along with Yoga and also because in March 2011 I had developed a liking for cooking. I try and expirement and its usually good.

13. I have been taking good care of myself since April 2011, and I feel and look beautiful ,my skin is glowing and clear, my hair is strong and shiny, my abs and thighs are tight and maintained. I love it!

14.  Mom n sis have taken car and moved to a beautiful house in Delhi with a big lawn. I’ve been sending good money there and they’re putting into the house & car EMI.

15. I did great in jazz at Delhi, got promoted, was able to do 3 pirouettes and then when I came to New York i found this amazing studio near my place. I’ve been learning  there  almost every day and its getting better. I can do a full split now. 🙂 Believe me!

16 . As a person also I’ve grown so much. I’ve overcome my fear of people not liking me and how I wanted to please everyone. I feel more confident today and its not only because of the looks, its more because I accept myself and the face that not everyone can like me. I am more relaxed and sorted now.

17. I have been travelling so much around New York. Almost every weekend I make plans with friends here. Its great to see this country. Next month December 2011, is planned for Europe – Italy. With the one i’m dating now. 🙂 wow!!

18. I had also won the Fiction writing contest for a magazine in India in April 2011.

19. I got a tattoo done from Kat Von De Camp in Miami. Its brilliant!!

20. I have also generated a good habit of brushing my teeth before sleep since March 2011. :)))

That was One hell of a Year!! Totally amazing!!!

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2 weeks without sleep..

Okay not without, but very less sleep and that makes you sleepy and want to crash on the floor whenever you get even a second free.

 

Wow..it actually has been that long since I left everything in my slow paced routine life and moved into a full swing-zapping-past-me-blurring-my-ability-to-think  week. Wow!!!

 

So my last post was about the V-Day that was Monday, continuing on….

 

The next two days at work were super busy. Lot of work and very less time. I stayed back a few days and totally missed out on my workout and diet plan (whatever was there of it). Thursday morning I got a call from the dance instructor who had borrowed money from me,which he had to forcefully return after I made a 100 calls and finally let other instructor at the office know about, anyways he called and said he had some passes to a dance show thing and I could have them if I wanted. I have never got free passes by myself, and I was excited about it, so I forgot that he is the biggest liar in the world, and I said if he could send them over to my office. He said he had sent them and then I asked my frenz, K and Nick and Tarun and my sis. All were up for it. Then I had make another 10 texts and calls to that Liar to find out why I hadn’t received the passes yet. He lied a lot again and I knew I was not going to get them. I felt totatlly stupid about getting so excited over it and asking my frenz about it.

 

Anyways, so this acquaintance of ours from Morocco, ‘Sash’ ( though K and Tarun), who’s in India for an internship, she called to say that there was a costume party thingy at her place and her firang(foreigner) friends would be there too, so we should come, and its ok if we don’t have the costumes ready. I asked everyone if we wanted to go there and so me, sis , Nick and K went. These people were so sporty, they bought costumes for each other and we had drinks and then the all had to go out to a club dressed like that. I would never do such a thing!!! I’m so bloody horribly conscious in my normal clothes, in my own skin…shit!! But I think also the adventure of being in a different country brings out a new side of you.

 

So we all went to this club where drinks were free for expats and we had to pay for our drinks. We were little lost in the group, coz we all only knew Sash and Nick didn’t even know her. But after sometime it got good and we danced around, my feet killed me which is equal to a party well enjoyed 🙂 . I like this cute and funny guy in the group, but I don’t think he was interested. All the firang guys were dancing around with all the girls and there were weird cheap Indian guys around, who came to stare or hit chance at making out with some firangi girls.

 

K had a good time, and Nick seemed bored. I was not just around him only, I thought it’d be good if spoke around and made some friends, Plus I was so not wanting to hear any comments from sis or K about him or me being interested in each other.

We left the place really late and then everyone was hungry, so we made a stop at a 24/7 open place and had some food. Relaxed and got horribly late. I reached home at 4am and had office at 8am next day. I slept for couple of hours and then got into cab and rushed to office.

The next 2 days at work were again busy and I ended up working on Saturday also, full day. I was leaving for home at 9:30pm, reaching by 10:30, eating something (mostly order out as mom was not home this week) and sleeping by 11:30. Waking at 6:30 – 6:45 am.

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday was the same routine.

Thursday i.e yesterday was a colleague’s wedding and the team decided to go. We all reached back home and then met at one place and went to the wedding. I wore a red net saree with white embroidery done on it. I dressed up well , good makeup with big eye liner shaping my eyes, blused cheeks and glossy lips, bangles in one hand (which I love to wear) and was looking good.  🙂

I came back home at 1 am, slept by 2am and then again took office cab at 7 am. The entire team was so sleepy the whole day, it was almost funny. 🙂

 

Thanks god today I get some sleep. I’m pretty sure this weekend is gonna be all about snoozing. 🙂

 

Oh n ya! Some other things going one that I have no patience to tell in detail about:

1. I finished reading a new chik lit, Girl plus One, was not so interesting in the begining but later did get good.

2. Sis spent almost all of our house rent for this month on shopping for jeans and some shoes, while mom was away.

3. mom came back yesterday and has been so upset and screaming around since.

4. Dance class has been less enthu for since the dance instructor money lending thingy, I’m hoping I get back to being super excited about it.

5. Uploaded this new guitar video on my fb, got many lovely comments. I kept checking n rechecking my fb for updates for almost 2 days after posting it 🙂

 

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I need a New Plan & some peaceful TIME to think about it..

I’ve still not set my 2011 new year resolutions.. and this time I’m gonna take my time and put some value into them.

So few things to keep in mind before I set them out:

1. Do not repeat the done ones , like learn something new, dance/music etc. the ‘new’ this year should actually Be New. Maybe art,sketching, something.

2. Be realistic and don’t put things there just because they seem so appreciative and make you proud (a usual trait of myself). Let’s say I will put the things that I Actually want to do Now, i.e This Year 2011, not those that I wanted years back or would want in the future years.

3. Put some Numbers there. How much I want to save? How much I want to weight ? How many dates or boyfriends I want ?Figures please.

4. Also, put a Realistic End Date to each resolution and it should not be End of year. I know, I know, that’s what resolutions mean, but what I’m saying is , I will benchmark each resolution to the time it will actually take, set up equal intervals through the year and distribute the resolutions across the time intervals, such that I’m not overwhelmed with too many things together,  not guilty that I haven’t done/started anything yet and through the year I feel like I am actually working on something, reaching somewhere.

5. Need to include breaking and making habbits. And by habbits I mean things that I do EVERYDAY, not once in a while. (Gosh! I can think of so many bad ones instantly!!)

6. Reality Check on every resolution please! I usually go overboard with wishful thinking and it leaves me all sulky at end of year. So keepin them real is the deal.

 

 

Now All I need is some PEACEFUL time to think and get these down.. soon maybe.

 

P.S : I’ve been blogging from office lately and I Love it!!

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Woken from the dead..

It seems I have been DEAD on this blog for much time now. Why and all the reasons are something that I cannot think or talk now, although nothing great or significant there either, but maybe later I will post the reason for absence for myself, so later when I’m reading this as a archieved month post, I know why the gap, the silence, no words, no thoughts.

I come here today in need of peace and calm.

I suddenly started feeling so anxious and restless. I needed to write, not speak, chat, vent out , but write.  What to write? I haven’t paid much thought to.

Let’s begin with how my day was. It’s Monday and I took the day off, I had planned to do so earlier last week itself. Actually I went to office on a Sunday and my comp-off was pending, so I had thought of taking that on last Friday since Thursday was supposed to be an off, and that would make it a 4 day long weekend, but then the Thursday holiday was cancelled and so I jumped to Monday. Another reason why I thought I wanted the day off was to sort out my passport application and get it over with. But today I realized I just wanted to lay back and relax and not get the items on the to-do list.

So all I did today was sleep till late, read the book ‘The Secret Garden’ , which is a children’s book and when I picked it up on last Saturday from Janpath, New book store, I had the feeling that it was something I missed as part of growing up, not like missing someone missed, but more like ‘did not get chance to’ missed and wasted sometime on trying to push myself to get the passport thing done but I ended up finding reasons of not doing it and alternatives to what can be done next. Also my grandpa came to our place but it was only for 15 min or so and I was glad coz he didn’t make any comments on my fat and didn’t call be a golguppa (an indian snack that is round in shape with stuffing inside). It was a good day in all. I ate a little too much of bread through the day and finally restricted the dinner to be ordered (as has been happening very often past few weeks).

I feel better now. Some settled feeling.

Well, it’s past twelve and I have to wake up early and do some yoga (which I missed today) and have started again from the last 3 days only. If you’ve been on this space before, you would know how many times I take up and leave health stuff.

Sadly, I have to wok it up now and I promise I will not leave before I reach my goal (which is not very much decided in statistics but only in general kinna way). Good thing is I’m onto Jazz classes again, its been 2 months and I’m back to 2nd level, coz I joined after a long gap and they make you begin at level 1 and then see your progress and yupee I’m back to the level I had left on.  Guitar classes have been off ever since dance started, I think I’m not able to handle 2 activities together, or maybe the lazy old me like to believe that.

Lastly, I saw the last post’s title and just an update on that, almost all of the pay cheque went into clearing the credit card bill that was majorly summed by buying a new phone for sis (which she lost within a week) and mom’s shopping spree for sis’s wedding (which btw is no where in the scene, there is not even a guy yet). The left amount was use up into household stuff and nothing was saved. Where am I going to land up like this?

From what I remember last that I posted, nothing major has happened yet (all hopes are still high, in a good way), the guy things -nothing, the job – nothing new only that I’ve learned my manager is getting more and more untolerable to me, family – nothing new.

I’ve been keeping at home mostly and no outings. I’ve also been keeping quiet I guess coz my sister went on complaining for the entire last month to everyone she spoke to that I wouldn’t talk to her and chat at all. Maybe! I haven’t been reading either, just got few books from CP last Saturday where I went to my bank to get my new atm card coz my mom had lost the original one after she went on a major shopping spree. I strolled into janpath alone for hours and then at book store too, I loved it. I just hung around the books and didn’t want to leave. I picked few books some recommended and few new. I’ve finished 2 of em already, The Bell Jar and The Secret Garden. Next is Nobody’s Fool.

I feel so much better now.

I will be back I think and not wait until I just can’t sleep.

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However cool You get

Amongst the fast changing times, everything we knew and learnt growing up , now seems different, and I’ve heard the more different the more Cool it is called.

I don’t live with my parent’s. Cool!

I’m in an open relationship.  So Cool!

I don’t like interference from my family, I just call them once a month. Wow! that’s Cool.

I don’t mind if my best friends are now hanging out more with some new people they met at the club. I’m cool! I’ll find some new group soon.

Break-ups are such drama’s , it’s easier to move on.. Cool!

Times are changing, there is so much culture change, mindset change, deciding how much of values and morals you want to stick with and what seems old to replace. How much space to new thoughts you’ve given with what you believed in taking a back gear. How much you can be yourself , without being uncool.

But sincerely and honestly, here what I think about it:

I don’t say no to a much easier and less complicated and un-bounded way of living, but the emotions part of our being, never get simple. 

We might have found ways to find new love quicker, but it doesn’t hurt less to part with someone you loved once and every once in a while you will secretly think of the old love and hurt a little.

We may appear cool living by ourselves in a one-room apartment, but with every small happiness or sadness, our hearts wish the place was filled with family and we could share this news, even when they wouldn’t want to hear and you had to drag each one to listen to you.

We do meet new people very often now, but they will never know how you cry when you’re sad, how you put up a smile when you’re sad or how you go bizarre shopping when nothing feels right.

There may be newer and convenient friends circles, who don’t bother to interfere in your decision, who won’t boss you to go home coz it was late, who’d never ask any personal questions , but the best friend of your childhood is the person you always thank for pulling you out of the mess, listening to your family issues and whom you freely fight with over why she couldn’t stay out for another hour.

We may find it a relief to have no limitations to a relationship, but you want someone to worry about you and

It might be the scene today to go the club on weekend nights, but sometimes you just feel like getting into the quilt with a book or just chatting on the phone for hours.

You may become the newest talk of the club when you enter in those ultra short dress/designer jeans, but when everyone stares at you too much.. you still can’t help, but wonder, ‘is my fly open?/ Did I forget to zip up?’ ..lol! 🙂

A heart that loves and hurts, some care taken, valuing the family who watched you grow, having a childhood best friend, wanting a love to die for, weekend nights with a good book, comfortable clothes .. nothing seems much cool than this to me.

What about you? What’s COOL to you?

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More on a saner note..

I checked the dictionary to see if that is a word actually, ‘saner’.  lol!

And since I did use ‘note’, so little update on some music in my life. Guitar learning has been relatively slow to when I had begun. However, the important past is it is going on. I used to take the class once a week, but last few weeks there wasn’t much practice so I did postpone it to bi-weekly.  The week before, on Monday class, my guitar was corrected for action and tune. The very next day it was out of tune, and I admit I haven’t learnt manual tuning yet. Well, I did learn, but its something that you learn with time, you kinda develop an ear for the correct sounds. So, when i tried to tune it nothing happened and it all went worse weird sounds. Then my bro tried to be too smart and broke off a string. He’s so funny, I didn’t know he had done something, but after one day he couldn’t keep the secret in his mouth and babbled it out. lol! That’s we call him ‘Randall’ from ‘The Recess’ cartoon. 🙂 Well, I asked my tutor t o drop in anytime this week and tune it for me, he said will try but he didn’t turn up so last monday he was surprised that I hadn’t done a thing. With little reminder he caught it was him missing, so no class, instead he changed some strings tuned it in, but I was not very happy with the sound of it, he said it ws the new strings, but I had doubts. The next day i.e yesterday Is at down with it and I just could n’t get myself to play coz really the sound wasn’t right. Now I may not know what the correct sound is, but I know what’s not the correct sound. I’ve asked my tutor for new strings and tuning help today again. Hopefully it will be as musical and soothing as before. Really, it was heartbreaking to see my guitar like that. Aww!

Then something about an old friend ‘S’, whom I have been in much drama with over the years and she has moved to Canada for a year now for work. She wouldn’t call and I tried a couple of times but not good response. She would call ‘A’ my other friend and then I would hear updated from her, which did not sound nice. She’s on Facebook and so I did always check her status and all, which I realized just made me sadder.

I once heard somewhere, that you should leave behind all that brings pain to ou, or something like that, and I realized this was bringing pain, it was something in the past that was good, but now dragging it into my present and hoping to get back what gone behind was only hurting. So, i wrote my status as something similar ‘If something that was joy and now only brings pain, is better to let go of. For All!’ and then removed her from my friends list. I don’t want to dig out this dead stuff and I’m not carrying the burden of it too. If it didn’t work then I cannot be the only reason right? I’m done mourning over it.  Huh! feel relieved!

Also something I am going to start is to ‘not be judgemental’, not form opinions quickly and also not see someone from other’s influenced POV. This should do me some good.

Yesterday, I completed one month (15 days to be precise) of going to gym and the scale has tilted to a kg less. It’s ok though. Slow and steady wins the race. I’m also having thoughts on starting yoga, but my past experience is stopping me. I used to do yoga and lost weight really well then I stopped, I think out of boredom, and then I puffed up so quickly, it was almost cheating or hidden side effect. Still thinking over it.

The last thing I want to talk about is work. Last friday plan to speak to my manager about the promotion did not happen, coz he wasn’t in office, now I am going there tomorrow.  Also I worked a few hours on Sunday night and so took my Monday as Comp off . Why do I feel I’ve already told you this?? Anyways, I so did not want to come to office. I was almost like a needle going through my heart inch by inch as the hours of monday night passed. I don’t know if this is how it’s with everyone, but the more time is going by, it’s getting more difficult to turn up after the weekend. Thankfully, once in office I am better. I don’t panic or cry or anything and do my work  i.e ofcourse after couple of hours of blogging pleasure.

Btw, I continuously follow this blog ‘The Compulsive Confessor’ and her blogs are totally amazing and she must be too. I started reading her blogs after I read her book ‘Here you are’ and it was sometime around the time when I had absolutely no work in office, so I started from her first blog and read through years of her life. It’s very interesting and honest. Nothing too fancy though.  Read it, its fun!

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Why being Single is FABULOUS!!

In no particular order…here’s my list.  Please ADD to it..

– You can make & cancel plans on your own. Which means, no waiting up, no obligatory visits, no guilt of hurting anyone. Isn’t that just fab!!

– You can spend all that hard saved up  money on YOURSELF, instead of gifts for someone else. More shopping for me, wat could be better!

– You are officially allowed to eye every candy in the bar. And there’s no conscious cribbing in your mind and telling you to stop.

– You can go to all the places you love without having to worry about someone else’s preference. 

– You don’t have to hear the constant nags about ‘how much time you spend at the parlour’. So girls.. ready to spend the lazy afternoons in peace.

– There is more than 1 reason to go lingerie shopping and to feel pretty 😉

– No late night calls, when you dead tired and want to sleep. Phew!! such a relief!

– More time to gossip…

– Much time for all your fav stuff, watching ‘never been kissed’ for the nth time, reading M&B.

– You don’t have to pretend you’re intersted in that sport, that he so digs. Please I can watch all the drama series and feel great now.

– You certainly are off the worries about ‘how his friends are?’, ‘Is he looking decent to go out with?’ , ‘What are his weird secrets?’, ‘How many ex’s do I have to deal with?’

– Flirting, dating, unlimited…

– No more feeling conscious, ‘how much weight have i put on?’ .. okay, who am i kidding.. this will never go away. 😉

–   No nightmares on ‘where is this going?’

that’s all I can get down, but you please ADD Up…

P.S: Was starting a rather grumpy and ranting post in the morning, but glad I finished this instead.

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