Closure!!!

Never mind how things started out, I feel it is really important that they end in a proper manner. And I am not at all good at this. I have left friendships turn sour to rock cold and also relationships to complete ignore and run away situations. But Closure does feel good.

I were my last  few days in the office and I had been literally running after The Boss to give me sometime to talk to him, he did give me time but like his true self he opened the conversation on a topic he assumed I had come to talk about i.e career and then carried on with his preaching (which are quite interesting and I like to hear and not interfere as I feel like I’m getting to know a little part of him a little better) and then he very conveniently closes the conversation also, without even asking if the other person has anything more to add. 🙂

 

I knew I could leave without letting him know how  I felt and telling him to his face was out of question because I am always so tongue tied in front of him. A night before my last day in office, I sat down and wrote him a letter, yeah very old fashioned I know, but this letter was not an instant pouring of emotions. I had been writing these notes in my phone and saving them. I would write them during my morning meetings in office , which I was hardly interested in because I knew I was leaving, I would write them on the way back home in cab, when I was staying late in office hoping to meet him. Finally a four page letter was written and I kept it on my bed to collect in the morning. When I left in the morning I forgot it at home, of course typical me. For a moment I thought God did not want me to give him those letters, but then I decided otherwise.

I went to the office, waited for him to come and then I pinged him saying I needed his 5 minutes, I needed to give him something, he asked what I told him something I wrote and he asked if it was the career thing he had told me about, I told him he will know when he reads it but he has to promise not to open it until after office , after I leave. He promised. He said I could come now but I wasn’t ready with the letter which I had to rewrite again.

 

I took some blank sheets and popped into an empty meeting room and then got down to it. The 4 sheets came pretty close to the original ones. I folded into an envelope and went to meet him.

 

The 5 minutes went onto 30 minutes. He talked about so many things, his life, what he’s trying to do, what he thinks of his past life, its all too complicated to write here but someway i could understand him. He also mentioned that earlier in our conversations he had mentioned some of the topic he took today, because they were meant to be talked about only when the person in front of him was understanding him and what he was saying. So he admitted that he felt I was understanding him thoughts and stuff he said.

 

After the conversation I was doubtful if I should hand him the letter or not, but keeping the fear away i gave them to him and said my final bye and shook hands (i initiated).

 

after reaching home it was almost 2 hours after work, I didn’t feel like going to gym and just sat in the quilt. I messaged him if he had read it yet. After about 15minutes I got his call. I jumped from the bed. The first thing he asked was if I was officially out of the organisation (client) I said yes now I am not professionally linked to them anyways, then he said he was relieved that he can talk to me like a friend. He said he appreciated everything and he had a laugh over how I was keeping an eye on him, he expressed that I should think of writing something, he said it made him feel good that such pure feelings still exist and he also said that I should not keep myself from moving ahead and be happy.

He was so friendly, a completely different tone than what I have heard earlier.

I asked him to keep the sheets with him as I will take them back from him someday.

It felt good. He called. He could have ignored. This swept away all the feelings of being ignored and hurt that I would feel everytime he didn’t respond to me. It was closure to me.

And also he said he would help and guide and mentor if I wanted his help.

 

I was so happy!! It felt like the perfect end to a perfect crush. 🙂

 

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