Thanks to The Boss! I’ve been having small talk on chat with him and he’s usually not much responsive, that fact I am avoiding and going ahead with being friendly. Its funny how I’m so comfortable on the chat and talk my heart out, in controlled way, but when he’s infront of me I can hardly say a word.
So another occasion of having him face to face had come. There was a guy leaving our team and we wanted a farewell party for him, he suggested we call The Boss also, coz The Boss had helped him a lot and he wanted to thank him. He’s helpful also..ooohhh. Anyways so because I arrange most of the farewell parties so this was also given to me. Now all the arrangements were made and I was asked him what he wanted to eat, coz he dosen’t eat pizza and all, I asked if fruits and juice would be ok, he said yes, ofcourse this was all on chat.
I dressed well, arranged the lunch and ran around to get things in place and then he came. I couldn’t get my eyes off him, there are only few excuses where you get to admire him openly and I was taking full advantage of it. I was not eating anything and team people starting teasing me as to why I’m not eating anything and someone said ‘Are you dieting?’ and other said ‘How do you control yourself?’, I was blushing and going red in the face and looking down and then I politely replied ‘I don’t like pizzas’ and then looked at The Boss, he was enjoying the jokes too and smiling and looking down. So cute. I could have stared away forever. God I am so infatuated with him. 🙂 Anyways so he wasn’t talking much, except about his athlete stuff and all and then people started performing jokes and all, it was much funny. He was laughing and all. I loved to see him enjoy. I only exchanged 1 sentence directly with him. Only 1. Where he said that some team of his made him race go carting with them and he won, I said ‘it could be been intentional you know’ and he looked at me and said ‘ yes it could be intentional’.
He left after sometime and then later the team sat for few more minutes and talked and then we came back to our seats. I hadn’t had lunch so I went for lunch and saw that he was there too, eating lunch. I think he smiled.
Afterwards the team sent few mails about how the appreciated my efforts and the party was good, keeping The Boss in loop.
Later in the evening I was waiting for him to be alone in his cabin, I crossed it a few times and looked, so I could chat with him. When I saw he was free I said hi and then we chatted a little, this time he was a little more responsive and not just yes or no, then after 8-9 messages he was back to yes /no. I asked if he didn’t speak much and only in mono syllabus and he said yes. I asked him if any one had commented on his glasses, he wears quite big framed bold rim glasses and he said no and he assumed it looks funny, I told him he looks really good in them and he said sure, like sarcastically and i said i’m not kidding they do look good on u, he said thanks and then I asked if he belongs to this city he said yes and then I asked if he lives with family, then no response, after 15 minutes I said im guessing no, no response again, and few minutes after he says have a good weekend, that means bye end of our conversation. I said bye and take care and thought he would be leaving soon too. Then I had to get up from my desk and get some prints and get ready to go, when I came back I saw someone sitting in his cabin, I didn’t directly cross his cabin but there is a meeting room in front of his cabin , i went into the meeting room and bent down to see who was sitting with him, OMG, there was a girl there, the one my friend had told me about, who often stays back after work and chats with him a lot. My heart broke into pieces. It was so sad. I was so happy that we had started talking and I gave him a compliment and all and now he said bye to me and is spending time with this girl. She’s not even pretty you know, only stick thin and flat.
Why would he do that to me?
Okay they may be friends but still when another girl is showing interest in you, you don’t say bye to her and talk to your other female friend.
I think he dosen’t like me at all. 😦
This is not good. I have to find someone else to focus my thoughts to, I can’t be so dependent on him to make me happy or sad, after all what do I know about him, nothing!
So after office me and N had to go for movie and dinner. That was fun and we went and talked a lot. N keeps saying these things that seem like hints that he likes me or would like to like me or something, but I’m not comfortable with that idea, I mean of course physical stuff is a tempting thought, but with N, he knows me too much and I don’t think it will ever happen or I want it to ever happen for real. But in the moment of things you know, sometimes these images do come in your hea. Like he mentioned if I would like to his room, I said yes, because its been a long time since I saw a bachelor pad and then it was N’s place and he keeps explaining it, so it would be nice to see it, but then he said its too untidy and messy today, so maybe some other day and at that moment this image of him and me in his room and me looking around and he comes behind me and I turn to see him too close to me and we kiss, god this image came to me, I shook it off, maybe that was the effect of the romantic movies I see so much. And then when we were in the car and he was driving and I handed him something and I touched his palms for a fraction of second, I did feel that jitter in my body, you know, not the friendly one, it was like jitter that goes up your body. Anyways I ignored it and kept looking into the phone.
I cam home with mixed thoughts in my head and those reasons I dreamt of him and me and I kept shaking it off and kept trying to keep The Boss and dream of him instead.
Tuff dreaming too!