Monthly Archives: October 2011

Latest in my life

Well, new things aren’t happening at a pace, yet it feels like change is coming around.

For one, I got my promotion. Yay!!! The money may not be so good, but still it is something and then it also means that I am done waiting for 1 less thing. Right?

Next, Diwali is over and so are my 1 week leaves, which I spent doing nothing at all, I just wasn’t in the plan mode at all, I never am, and I did not make the extra efforts it takes to plan out, even if meant a 1 days trip. Whatever!

I saw a few office love inspired movie / series and now I’m quite inspired to have my own story to tell.  In the inspired mode I have thought of looking around my office and outside for good prospects and once I see one, definitely act on it. Also I replied to my boss’s happy diwali mail and the reply was ONLY to him, nothing much in the content thoughh, just thanks and wish you the same, but still it was a 1:1 thing I did. Eeeee!!! btw the movied I watched was Bridget Jones Diary and the series Mahi Way. I know Bridget’s story isn’t exactlya good example but the thing is taking initiative. Even if there is a small chance there, one should explore it. What is the worse that could happen? he’s not interested / or engaged or seeing someone? that’s ok, nothing to loose.

Another thing, Bridget inspired me to do, write the Diary.

After the diwali week, its also time to get back to the Diet and Gym. Its not like I left, but yeah did miss couple of days and did eat couple of sweets (ok a little more than couple). Now get the target back on track. 7kgs in 2 months is the target people.

 

Also, regarding my release, talks will start soon with client and search for new person will follow. Mid- December, I will be off from here. But before that I need to get my passport in place. Seriously.

 

That’s all that’s happening here. You tell me howz life there?

 

 

 

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Song..by me

After  almost half day, I got the first glimpse of my office crush today. Im not madly in love with him, but a glimpse of him just makes my day. you know how i love to have crushes right! 🙂

and well instantly my hands moved on the keyboard and this song came up..i even have the tune for it, maybe will record it on guitar too 🙂

I’m standing there at a distance watching u
talking to someone but i see only you
I begin to wonder what it would be like
to be the one that you’re talking to

when you infornt of me
i just cant look up
and when you talk to me
i feel my tongue tied up
something about u makes me so nervous
im just a little bit..just a little bit
in love ..yeah ..i think ..its love
staring glances of you is how i pass my hours
i cant focus on work until is see you once
wondering all the time, what do u think of me
wondering and a little more wondering
when you infornt of me
i just cant look up
and when you talk to me
i feel my tongue tied up
something about u makes me so nervous
im just a little bit..just a little bit
in love ..yeah ..i think ..its love
When you walked up to, my whole face lit up
i didnt even know u knew who i was
until you said that you think i look pretty
and would it be okay if we could get some coffee

I just froze right there
had to pinch myself
to see reality and not wonder thoughts
you were there with me
right in front of me
and i kept smiling at you
coz i knew maybe …you were
just  a little bit..jus a little bit
in love ..yeah…in love with me

And just after I finsihed writing this, he came to the open meeting desks right ahead of my seat and sat there for 10 mins, i just couldn’t stop looking at him 🙂 coincidence or a sign??

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Need to please..

Whenever a romantic endevear comes in the farthest proximity to me, I have this tendency to try and please the other person. Its something I hadn’t even noticed before, but once when we were out clubbing and I saw this cute guy that I liked and my sister made a joke that now I would start dancing more aggresively. I was like ‘what does that mean?’ and she was right I did notice my patterns thereafter, I did do things that I would not normaly do.

Its ok to try to put your best but when that is once you’re getting to know the person or at least in contact with them right, not when you don’t know them, their name and are total strangers.

I behave differently I know. I would try to get their attention and its not my normal self. Maybe in my subconcious I feel that my normal self isn’t good enough to get attention and that’s why I try to show what all good stuff I have, dance / singh/ good choice of songs on my phone.

”good choice of songs on my phone’This is so stupid.I know. But I just did this today until I realised and stopped. Well there is this guy in my office, he seems younger to me and he’s cute, but I hadn’t thought much of him until today I saw him looking at me. He sits one bay behind mine and so when I sat up for going  for breakfast i saw him looking at me, not staring but just looking, then again I saw him look at me a few times. I know whenever I write about any guy it turns to be nothing, but that’s not the point, the point is after lunch I sat on my seat and started playing songs on my phone (since I cant find my earphones since 2 days) and then I started singing along too, not loud music and loud voice, but little loud that I thought could reach his ears and then just my lips moving with the song and my head turned to side, so anyone behind me can see me singing the words of that good song. hahaaa.. i cant believe when my mind did all this processing, but it definitely wasso natural to me. god! How low on confidence am I? am this is at the slightest hint of Nothing! he just looked at me! and I don’t even like him!

But still this urge to please was there and I only realised now.

I dont like to admit this.  I don’t think this is a good thing about me. why do i do this? and so naturally and yet so not me.

And there is this other guy in my office too, he’s my boss’s boss (i hate that word ‘boss’, but helps describing stuff here so). He’s handsome and tall and im actually attracted to him, but seriously i can’t even look him in the eyes and once when he came in front of me I couldn’t even say ‘hi’, not that he knows me or anything, but I was so tongue tied and its a silly school girl crush, only that Im not in school and he’s not my teacher. 🙂 Its fun to watch him from distance and …just that .. watch and see and get little dreamy eyed. 🙂

I guess when I find the right guy i wouldn’t feel the need to please, or will that never happen? I wonder!

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At the Waiting end..& more

Reflecting back on the year passed, it seems like is true that I have been on the Waiting End all through the year.

When I joined this company (with a salary hike) and got into this project, I was eagerly waiting for a good mid-year rating, which I did get, and then I waited for the Final year rating, which was OK because the hike was not so good with it, then I came to be waiting for my experience to complete a mark where I was eligible for Promotion, that happened, and then I waited for the management to get my Promotion Initiated (I had to literally run after them for 2 weeks, day and night), that was done, and then I waited for the process to be completed, now that is done and now I’m waiting for the Company Quarterly results to be out coz I will get the promotion letter thena nd will be able to see how much hike I have got, hopefully by end of this week / early next week, and then finally I will wait till the end of month to get the hike salary into my account. 🙂

Lots of waiting right!

Well, you may say that this was achievements or goals you achieved, but NO, it was all waiting. I have been waiting for each of these events like a watch dog, waiting for that evil cat sitting across the street to come near me, so I can get hold of it, except that the leash wont let me move around and so I sit and wait. Wow, I really feel leashed right now too. Maybe because I don’t enjoy what I do anymore. I enjoy everything else but not this.

Anyhow, so I had a meeting with my client manager today and I told him clearly that I want to go and that there is a replacement that I have in mind and she will be available by end of month, so if he wants to get her then he should act fast. He was not to supportive of the idea but still I have put a point in his empty head and I will keep asking him every week about it. God please, end of this month, let me go from here and withtin next month let me get a good onsite project so by next year I am out of Inida and there is no more leashed waiting.

Apart from all this, I’m in a good mood these days. The onbring of winter has this effect on me, the slight chill early mornings and late evenings, the feel good air and soon enough I’ll get my jackets out and run on the treadmill loving the warmth in my body.

 

Also a few more self care do’s have been put into practice, I cut some amla yesterday and will be eating 1 piece each day and also washed hair with amla-reetha-shikakai. Also, coming week , soups will become my supper and bring me all the glow and health I want. 🙂

At the friends end, well i’m not too happy with the current state but then I’m not complaining either. Hopefully, I will make the effort to meet few people often and go out a little more.

Love  – well love has not come around yet and I’m not waiting either, I’ve got a hundred things to work on myself, so i’ll let this rest for a while. 🙂

 

Cheers!!

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