Can Friends get romantic??

I’ve always kept my friends away from the category of dating/romantic prospects for me. For me when I meet a guy, I’m either romantically inclined or friendly inclined.  When I’m romantic I shy a little, don’t talk too much, flash my smile, arrange my hair every now and then and other stuff. In other words I get conscious. And when friendly thing is there, then i crack jokes, be comfortable, forget about my hair or bulging tummy, I talk as much rubbish I want and am myself.

 

I will have to confess that whenever I feel a romantic thing, I try to put my best there and get conscious.  But we all do right? At least in the beginning? I somehow also feel that I act differently and I don’t like that about myself. But I get so conscious.

 

Anyways, so my doubt is that can friends be romantically involved? I mean I know they can, we are free people and do whatever we want, but then, does it not mean Risking too much?  Friendship is one of the best things and if you stake it to take a chance on romance, is it worth it? Could you be friends even after? even if it worked or didn’t?

Well forget about after, lets talk about you decide to take the chance. Then how do you behave? Do you flirt and smile at the friend who’s seen you get drunk and hit at guys in this manner before? Do you blush on a compliment when he’s made several jokes on earlier? How do you behave? Its all so confusing..

 

The reason I’m asking all this is that whenever a friend even tires to be more than friendly, I freak out!! Not that it has happened a lot, but those few times, I start taking everything as a joke and hit back jokes on him to embarrass him.  I don’t know what to do and try to get out of that place immediately.

 

How can you be romantic with a person who’s seen you at your worst and weirdest??

Anyhow, so this friend of mine, ‘N’, the guy who was to move to Delhi and was to meet me and didn’t for sometime, well we met up today. I had a dance class at 7pm and he had work till 5pm, so he came around my house at 6pm and we sat at a coffee shop for an hour and talked. He was mostly venting about his work and how they make them work like crazy. I had nothing much to say (as usual) and was trying to fill the silences. Then I went back to my class and he headed to meet his friend for drinks. I did hint him that I could join him after my class, but he didn’t hear me totally and thought I was saying I could miss the class and said I shouldn’t. I didn’t mention it again.

So we left and then 30 min back I opened fb and he was online. I told him I could’ve missed the class today, but just didn’t think then and he was thinking the same that we could’ve got together after my class too. We both laughed it off and said we can meet again sometime. I suggested the weekend where I could maybe introduce him to a friend, my sis’ friend actually, she’s slim and beautiful but little dumb (I didn’t tel him that). He said we could also meet on the V-day and he’ll try to get out of office little early. He asked me ‘Will you go out with me?’  and I said ‘ok’, he replies ‘gr8! Its a date then’ . Ahem..Ahemm..

I know / think it doesn’t mean anything, but somehow over that last 3 times I met him , over long durations, he does/says something that leaves me thinking.

 

He’s a decent guy and nature wise he’s not my type in many ways, but then I don’t know how he is to date either.

Well, I don’t think I want to date him , but I’m struggling to find a reason as to why not? I mean, am I limiting my life and experiences by my baseless ideas. How do I know if it works or not if I don’t try?  Monica and Chandler got it all right? Ross and Rachael remained friends after all romance ended?  How would I know?

 

Well, the thing is, he’s not even showed any interest whatsoever, and I’m already thinking these things up.. And I don’t even know if I’m interested or not..

 

But seriously, I don’t want to limit myself to experiences and chances, by these ideas in my brain, that are not facts or rules. These are just baseless restrictions I have in my brain that I think can make life easy, but instead make it so much more complicated.

 

So what are your experiences on ‘Mixing Romance into Friendship’??

 

 

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “Can Friends get romantic??

  1. Hi there — I’m almost old enough to be your mom, so I’ve been through this a few times. Good friends can make the best lovers, sometimes unexpectedly. I’ve found that the best way to make the transition — if you want to — is to get the two of you out of your normal routine where you are “just friends” and do something or go somewhere totally different. See a different side of your guy friend and let him see a different side of you. When I was in my early 20s, I had worked with a guy for about six months and he wanted to date me. We went to a play one night and ended up at a very romantic spot by the river watching some men fish in the moonlight. We were out of our comfort zones and it just happened, one kiss and it built from there. We were together for almost two years and we’re still friends today — 20 years later. Just a suggestion. Good luck!

  2. Very interesting post. I always thought it would be easier to pursue a relationship with someone who is already a friend, since both people know each other beforehand, and they share similar interests. I could see how the friendship is put at risk though; maybe that’s why I haven’t pursued a relationship with any of my close friends yet.

  3. newme

    unkeptwoman – maybe ur right… its d way u spend time n wat u do dat can change d way u look at friends.. I’m still quite uncomfortable with the idea, but then if you don’t mae too much mess of it n can manage to keep d frenship alive, its worth a shot ya! thanx for sharing your experience!

    Ernesto David Lazalde – the idea does seem easier, u know them and all.. but then its too confusing on how to behave romantically .. n yes the risk is high too. im still not decided on if it works or not..bt will give it a shot, IF d chance comes 😉

  4. Pingback: Can Friends get romantic?? – Travel Friends | eseniorpeoplemeet

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