A lot of my friends, Most out of my few friends are doing really good in their careers and even some of my mot-friends are. These people are mostly from my college and so Ihave known them through the essential growing up 4 years of our lives.
Last night I found ‘N’ on facebook chat. Remember, he’s the one who is very sweet and I’m really fond of and the one who keeps going to Ney York and I amso happy about. Well, he moved to my city, Delhi a few months back and we had met up on his visit to Delhi a couple of months even before that and then we had planned all the amazing fun we would have once he’s here. But ever since he’s been here, its a No show and No call either. It was heartbreaking, but I’m so used to this happening, you know making exciting plans and then getting ditched, that I’m ok now.
Anyways, so I was chatting to him and he was appreciating me for all the things I’m doing in life, jazz dance, guitar,gym and all. He was like you’re a complete package. 🙂 I was happy to hear it, coz just few minutes back my fren B, who’s in USA also, said the same thing to me. I asked him about his life and how he was doing and also complained about the no show, he told me he was very busy at work, which I have heard before too, and that he was working on weekends too and also travelling within country a lot.
*Sigh* I heard my heart going.
Even I’m working, even I’m here but still so not here. You know.
I told him I felt so left behind when I see them making such progress. And its true. But I also know that no matter how much I drag my ass here there will be no good. So I’ve decided to take it easy and work normal and live normal and give myself some quality time also.
But seriously, isn’t this the time to runa fter your dreams and forget about everything else? Then how come I’m not going crazy, while all these other people are? N is working his ass off and also moving ahead fast, S is in canada and again working like mad and still staying thin as ever. how?? I know how, mostly not eating and depression over her heartbreak, I wouldn’t want that part. Anyways, so what’s the deal?
The thing is that I did all that,, work like a crazy person and tool up more than I could handle and gave it night and day and dreams, but I ended up leaving with no promotion or hike and found myself in a place where no matter what I do my goal will not be met (going abroad for long term). So I switched my job to a place where there are opportunities to get what I want, atleast there are options and so you can compete your way to it. But the first project that I got was again not in line with my goals and I’m not looking for trouble, so I didn’t object either. Also its taking me lot of time to settle into a new work environment and I’m not going mad.
I can see that I have to wait for another 4 months to get my dream and that is ok with me, but still I feel a little less on putting effort. Of course there is the fact that it will happen only when my current project is over and I complete 1 year in the new firm, but sitting easy and not running after it, makes me anxious and doubt myself.
I love giving time to my hobbies though and also taking care of myself. and gym and stuff. But sometimes I wonder why I’m not working myself out to reach my dream.
Between me and them (my friends) , I see they have already achieved what I haven’t even started to run after.
Also I know some stupid idiots who are sitting there (abroad) and enjoying the money and scenary, when I am so much more deserving than them.
Well, in time I can believe and believe it will be mine when its time. A little low paced and some enjoyment..makes me anxious for sure… but I am doing the things I love and enjoy, while they have no time for what they love to do. Feel better now. 🙂