The past few days..

The last thing I mentioned about what was happening in my life seem to be about  my angry thoughts about the argument I would have with the landlady and how I had got myself to talk to the Cute-guy even though I totally knew he wasn’t my type. Nothing important or interesting huh..


Well here’s what’s been happening lately..

I’ll start with last weekend coz I really don’t remember anything significant before that, like totally blnked.

On Friday evening I got a message from ‘N’ my college friend. He was in New York for couple of months and had returned to Delhi. He asked to catch up over the weekend and I was happy to have some plan and also happy about meeting him.

Friday was Diwali and I made a beautiful rangoli (it’s a temporary floor decoration made with powdered color). I also dressed up in authentic wear and we all burst some crackers, had special dinner that sis had prepared (god! cannot imagine myself doing such things) and then mom had to make us crazy by keeping us up till 3am for the pooja, which we had to literally pushed her to start it coz if we hadn’t stopped her she would have gone on and on with the preparations for another 4 hours .

The next day we were so dead tired that we slept till noon and then woke up lazy and tired again. I asked ‘N’ f he wanted to catch up and he was busy so he said Sunday would be good. I was fine with that coz I myself had dance class in evening and I really don’t like to have  back to back plans on single day, especially if friends are involved, I feel restricted and not comfortable and too distracted and also guilty for not being wholely there and thinking of the next place to go. So majorly it was a relief!

I also gave myself a small makeover but cutting some fringes myself. I went for my jazz dance class and thoroughly enjoyed it. I loved it you know. Looking at yourself in the mirror dancing, learning something new, feeling like a dancer, being the you that you never seem to be but always wanted to, giving it your best even after you’re drained, killing it for the last time, knowing you are good at it and ita ll about you. I love it!


Sunday was good, lazy,  sleepy until evening when I asked ‘N’ what time we’re meeting and where. We decided on meeting at 5 and then I left from home at 5:15, reaching there 30 min late. I really need to stop this sudden sprout of laziness that sets in just when I have to prepare for something and then when its about time I start moving around. It feels stupid.


Anyways, so meeting N was good. As we met the first thing he said was that he had put on weight and I said I had too, but he said (with not a hint of pretense) that I didn’t seem to have, instead I looked smarter/ Yay!! Also he didn’t complain about me being late. Yay! I was in good spirit already and thank god nothing spoiled it!


N is always so sweet and nice, and even though he isn’t like a saint coz he is a guy, but some politeness and nice thing in him makes him so genuine. I mean even when he was saying that he was with a girl only for fun, even then it didn’t sound dirty or cheap, it was honest and not filthy. Anyhow, so we went to this nice place Ignis and talked a lot, mostly about his recent ex-relationship and how it was so messy and how he had been when he was in it. But it wasn’t boring. I liked that he was sharing with me and then since I had nothing much to tell him so I may have bored him. We talked a lot and then towards the end we did not have much left to say. N is moving to Delhi end of this month and that is going to be super cool. Ok, maybe not so much but still I’m excited, atleast once in a while (how much ever that is) we will meet and hang out. I’m happy about it and he was too. We made some not to sure plans on how we’ll go clubbing and all, obviously I’m trying to learn to not build high hopes and get excited quickly when other people’s decision is involved. Still trying, you can see my excitement level already!

When I was with N, some thoughts over whether we both can be together, like a couple you know, were coming to me and I was pushing them away. I’m guessing these thoughts came from the fact  that the last time I met N and how I thought he maybe interested in me. Anyways I didn’t give it much heed.

Also I smoked after a long time and drank too. It feels good when you have company. But I realized that I can’t take the smoke in, I started to cough, its a good realization. 🙂

N dropped me home and then chatted with mum n sis till late.

Monday was usual week start day only with my new look, which sis said somehow made my scalp more visible. I seem to be having major hairfall and can’t imagine why, I’m not on diet, I’m eating like a pig, I’m not using hair press, sprays, nothing.. Stress maybe!  It’s getting worse I tell you. No one at office noticed or mentioned the changed look until after lunch, a friend asked if i had got it cut. No comments after that.


Tuesday morning I woke up with the bad stomach ache and took day off.


Wednesday reached office and learned that my kind of lead is spreading rumor that I took off to go on interview. I tried to clear it with him but he involved his senior into it too and she heard me out and took my side.


Today I woke up a dream where I saw me and N were together. all coz of the stupid thoughts, but it made me smile when I woke up and thorugh the day whenever I remembered it . Office was all ok, lot of breaks and almost no work. I also found way to access WordPress from office network, but somehow could not write there, wasn’t comfortable. Some other girl commented that my hair has seemed to thin a lot since I got the fringes. Actually my hair has been falling and then it was kina oily-need-a-wash state today, but I did not wash it because of the superstitiou that I believe that ‘washing hair on Thursday makes losing money’. So my scalp was quite visible at places and my confidence was sinking each time I saw the mirror.

Also have been having some eye irritation lately and had shown to eye doc on Tuesday and she gave drops and gel and advised not to wear eye makeup. So also got comments that I looked pale and sick. Not a good day to feel good na!


Just to end on a better note.. chatted with ‘S’ on facebook, while typing this post. ‘S’ is the friend from college whom I’ve had the maximum drama with and we’ve not been friends for a long time now. I said the first hi. She seemed in a very talkative mode and she honestly asked me if we can mend things, I said yes we can but we’ll both have to be very mature. I’m not sure of myself at this, but I do miss my best friend. I haven’t made a good gal pal ever since her. But it’s also scary coz we have fought and made up so many times, and now she’s a totally new person. Still I think its worth it. Btw she’s in Canada so no chance of meeting her, but maybe we can try to be friends on chat for sometime, it might do some good.


I love the opening violin tune of this song.


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