It seems I have been DEAD on this blog for much time now. Why and all the reasons are something that I cannot think or talk now, although nothing great or significant there either, but maybe later I will post the reason for absence for myself, so later when I’m reading this as a archieved month post, I know why the gap, the silence, no words, no thoughts.
I come here today in need of peace and calm.
I suddenly started feeling so anxious and restless. I needed to write, not speak, chat, vent out , but write. What to write? I haven’t paid much thought to.
Let’s begin with how my day was. It’s Monday and I took the day off, I had planned to do so earlier last week itself. Actually I went to office on a Sunday and my comp-off was pending, so I had thought of taking that on last Friday since Thursday was supposed to be an off, and that would make it a 4 day long weekend, but then the Thursday holiday was cancelled and so I jumped to Monday. Another reason why I thought I wanted the day off was to sort out my passport application and get it over with. But today I realized I just wanted to lay back and relax and not get the items on the to-do list.
So all I did today was sleep till late, read the book ‘The Secret Garden’ , which is a children’s book and when I picked it up on last Saturday from Janpath, New book store, I had the feeling that it was something I missed as part of growing up, not like missing someone missed, but more like ‘did not get chance to’ missed and wasted sometime on trying to push myself to get the passport thing done but I ended up finding reasons of not doing it and alternatives to what can be done next. Also my grandpa came to our place but it was only for 15 min or so and I was glad coz he didn’t make any comments on my fat and didn’t call be a golguppa (an indian snack that is round in shape with stuffing inside). It was a good day in all. I ate a little too much of bread through the day and finally restricted the dinner to be ordered (as has been happening very often past few weeks).
I feel better now. Some settled feeling.
Well, it’s past twelve and I have to wake up early and do some yoga (which I missed today) and have started again from the last 3 days only. If you’ve been on this space before, you would know how many times I take up and leave health stuff.
Sadly, I have to wok it up now and I promise I will not leave before I reach my goal (which is not very much decided in statistics but only in general kinna way). Good thing is I’m onto Jazz classes again, its been 2 months and I’m back to 2nd level, coz I joined after a long gap and they make you begin at level 1 and then see your progress and yupee I’m back to the level I had left on. Guitar classes have been off ever since dance started, I think I’m not able to handle 2 activities together, or maybe the lazy old me like to believe that.
Lastly, I saw the last post’s title and just an update on that, almost all of the pay cheque went into clearing the credit card bill that was majorly summed by buying a new phone for sis (which she lost within a week) and mom’s shopping spree for sis’s wedding (which btw is no where in the scene, there is not even a guy yet). The left amount was use up into household stuff and nothing was saved. Where am I going to land up like this?
From what I remember last that I posted, nothing major has happened yet (all hopes are still high, in a good way), the guy things -nothing, the job – nothing new only that I’ve learned my manager is getting more and more untolerable to me, family – nothing new.
I’ve been keeping at home mostly and no outings. I’ve also been keeping quiet I guess coz my sister went on complaining for the entire last month to everyone she spoke to that I wouldn’t talk to her and chat at all. Maybe! I haven’t been reading either, just got few books from CP last Saturday where I went to my bank to get my new atm card coz my mom had lost the original one after she went on a major shopping spree. I strolled into janpath alone for hours and then at book store too, I loved it. I just hung around the books and didn’t want to leave. I picked few books some recommended and few new. I’ve finished 2 of em already, The Bell Jar and The Secret Garden. Next is Nobody’s Fool.
I feel so much better now.
I will be back I think and not wait until I just can’t sleep.