We all talk about honesty all the time right? We want honest people around us, I want an honest boyfriend, an honest husband and so on..
Somewhere down the expectations level I think we miss out or consciously ignore the most important thing, i.e being honest with ourself.
There have been times when I have actually ignored my inner voice, ignored my conscious like I don’t even recognize it and even though at the back on my mind I know that I am not listening and yet I don’t want to, it would make it real, make me face reality, become a fact in my life, and then the consequences would be for me to believe and live. I’m not talking about life changing, big things, but even the simplest of things that we know is not right and how to do it right we ignore.
There have been times when I put my gut feelings aside, only because I chicken out of being in an unexpected situation and having to pull off things on my own.
Most recently and for a long time now, I have been ignoring what I want to do with my life. I start writing and then just don’t complete it. I know I can, I just don’t. I don’t put that effort that I know will be so fruitful, I get scared of what if this completes and then what. I know I am such a creative person and yet I don’t reach over and explore all that I can.
How could I withhold myself the freedom I myself dream of. Is uncertainty the only reason or am I not meant to.
You know, when you’re a kid and you dream of how your life will be when you grow up, I’m not sure but I have now started believing that that doesn’t ever come true for anyone.
Will I ever have the guts to be honest and take chances in my life? Will I ever act upon my negligence of my heartfelt? Will I ever live my life as I had dreamed?
I ask these questions even when I know the answers lie in me…