I know it’s probably a little too late to ask that question or even say that out aloud, but seriously, why isn’t there an automated part in our (if you don’t identify with me then only ‘my’) brains that turns off all the dreamy dreams-anything and everything is so good thinking. I mean who is like a grown up 24-year-old working responsible person, still thinking that there is going to be this amazing guy who will come into her life and be crazy about her, madly in love with her, with all the good and the bad, who will be too good and accept her and love her and make her so happy and she will always be loved and happy. And yes she will love him soo much too ?? ME, ME!! Idiot!! damn…
I may be sounding like a needy street puppy looking at you eating food with his wet, black, hypnotizing eyes, but you know what, it high time. High time for me to take the road that I want is real. Either I need to leave this little girl in me, who’s still living the dream world or I need a miracle and wake up in wonderland, which is less likely to happen so, wake me up.
If you don’t believe me, then please read on and amuse yourself –
1. I actually believe that LOVE will be unconditional. He would love me like crazy and I believe it will be true. I am waiting for it too.
2. If I like someone, i.e apart from boy-girl kinna thing, like when I’m fond of a person, I feel you can express it whenever you feel. Like when you meet someone after a long time and you may not be the closest of people for each other, but if you feel happy and overwhelmed, then I actually think and feel like hugging that person tight. We may be apart later, even enemies or not even talking, but for now, what happens next should not stop you from expressing what you feel. It doesn’t make me vulnerable at all, I think it would only make me a warmer person and a loving heart.
3. I take sides, like in fights, arguments. It’s not something I am proud of, but if you’ve done something wrong to my friends, family, someone I care about and I have their part of the story and I believe them, then there is nothing in the world that will make me think anything positive about you, i.e. even if I cancel out the negative. Because somehow loyalty to my people comes into my mind. Even taking an opinion that is not on their side makes me feel like a betrayer. Very similar like a school fight, you’re on either team, there is no middle-no-opinion.
Had other examples to prove my point, but then I left in-between and went and had breakfast (Unhealthy burger, not much cheese) and now can’t seem to think of my stupid ways.
Lesson Learnt: Never leave a piece in-between without jotting the next points somewhere.
God! This so feels like an awfully self obsessed piece. But hey, its my space… so whatever!