How can you feel love, care or just any feeling and not have any expectations from the other person? Selfless is what it is called right? How do you do it? I have no clue, and just like some saying in Buddhism ‘our expectations are the cause of our sufferings’ and it’s all so true for me.
Leave alone the people I know, love and are close to me, even with people I don’t know, sometimes I develop this sense of attachment and I’m so happy/sad for them and then when I don’t get a response from the other person, it’s so hurting. I know, it’s all my mind and my feelings and expectations, but hello, some good words, some respect wouldn’t hurt them either right?
I should really stop this. It’s so self destructive and hurting.
Now another thing is, how do I stop feeling something that I am. how do I go subtle on my feelings? How do I not express what I feel? That’s who I am, if not expressing I’m nothing, how do I not be me?
I just start expecting so much, as in even little things that I expect, like people making some effort for me, listening to me, doing something i want to, even the smallest of things, and if they don’t do then i’m hurt. really! Its hurting and then I show a little temper and the other person is confused and I have to explain that it felt betraying that I feel/think/do so much but you don’t even consider, and then it all sounds like I’m trying to balance or even out what I do and what you do. Crap!!
I should really stop! How? Really How?? It’s like disease with no meds…:(