Mind Fucking or Fucking Mind?

I don’t want to be rude, but then yes I will have to be. There’s no other way.

What’s bloody wrong with us girls??? (please don’t say its’ only me, please!) Why the hell are we so emotional? Even when we set out NOT TO BE, like absolutely clear, like Imprinted on your forehead and brain, and yet, yet we get emotional.

No, I’m not going crazy or crying my eyes out, but seriously i don’t want to be emotionally attached. I don’t ! 

Okay, enough of rambling on and on, let me tell you what happened.

So ‘New Guy’ has this habit of saying the good things along with something not so good. Like the other day I wore a saree and he said ‘I won’t say you’re looking pretty, but yes, I bet no one who sees you can say you don’t look good’. I know its weird! but then there are other jerks who dun say 1 good thing about you, as if it will kill you (sis just met such a jerk few days back.. lol! ).

Then when I made him meet sis and a fren, he found sis quite nice. Which is good and I knew he would say that. But still I felt a little jealous ( all normal, sister stuff). We clicked a few pics too. WHile we were leaving I told him that I don’t want to take the stairs and we took the list. And we kissed, don’t remember who came ahead first but it happened. Then while dropping me home also we got a little intimate. He told me all the usual stuff guys say (assholes) ‘You’re so Hot!’ and stuff.. which I must say sounded bloody flattering at that time, but now not so much.  But he sounded genuine at that time.

Anyways, later, like after a day or so he tells me that “you’re looking a little chubby in the pics, but it suits you, you don’t have you loose weight”.

I was like WTF….

I didn’t say much then.. But seriously iw as so pissed.. like ya when you were saying ‘I’m Hot’ why didn’t you say this then…

Now see if it was about being honest then there’s always a better way and time of saying things…. But seriously..

Then I also saw his comments on Facebook and he has sent lot of likes on sis’ pics. Okay.

I don’t know… maybe I shouldn’t be so irritated.. But then still… oh yes, he also told me once that ” You know what I thought you are very flamboyant, but actually you are not” . Hell man!!  I hate this crap!

See the thing is that I don’t want to get this to my head and I don’t want nothing emotional type, but then whatever time I spend I want it to be with someone who appreciates me. No Hangups yes, but appreciated and admire! What’s so difficult about it?

Anyways, now I’m a little put off..

I wish I could be like boys in this case, do whatever, say whatever, no feelings nothing at all! I actually believe that girls are so much in pain and hurt mostly coz we associated intimacy with emotions. It should be just intimacy. No emotions!

Just imagine, if we could have sex and not associate any emotions to it. Wow! That would be so good. No guilt! No ‘what he feels ?’ rubbish.

Now I’m not getting attached or anything yet, but yes bit jealous and disappointed that he doesn’t totally appreciate me. and the saddest part is that it makes me want to do something so that he feels like overwhelmed with me. But I won’t. I don’t have to do anything out-of-the-way to make anyone like me. This is it, take it or leave it! Why should he be able to leave me, I would leave him. But how? I mean what’s the point na, as it is I’m not gonna get too much involved and all so let it be.

Honestly, we’re going for a date(official type.. which is again weird.. ) this saturday and I’m going to observe him keenly and decide if I want to continue on this or not. Seriously! just giving him a couple of chances that’s all.

😦 Crap!

Advertisements

5 Comments

Filed under Blogroll, dating, dreams, feelings, friends, Interesting, interpret, life, love, personal, random, realtionships, secrets, sex, thoughts

5 responses to “Mind Fucking or Fucking Mind?

  1. “In a relationship, when does the art of compromise become compromising?”.. I wanna see whether you justify this quote… its from the ones you like, how can I ignore?…
    but then, am confused if you’re considered to be in a relationship or not yet..!!
    and after readin this post, i wud still say, u’re ‘sensibly emotional’.. 🙂

  2. newme

    Well, am not yet and frankly I think I can’t handle the drama(or do any 🙂 ).

    still sensible? … now u must be right ya, I better start believin u in d first time… poems n dis..

    Btw wat do u think abt this New guy character?? Honestly?

  3. well, he seems to be pretty normal, jst like any other guy.. one thing i can tell u is, he has started takin u for granted, and thts why he isn’t much worried abt wot he speaks.. but then, its hard for me to justify this, considerin the amount of him I get to read..!!
    ppl gnrlly say, u get to know wher ur relationship could go, from the feelings of ur very first kiss.. so, wot do u hav to say abt them??

  4. Sounds like a jerk to me, certainly not a gentleman or he would be treating you better. If he doesn’t appreciate you now, he won’t later. Waste. Of. Time.

    Just my opinion though!!

    ~IntrigueMe

  5. newme

    Zubair – normal guy.. dat’s a relief.. I think the much talking he does, its more like a part of his nature and I certainly am not very fond of this. You know he’s one of those people who think they’re so comfortable with everything that they think they can say anything as well… just too modest..

    About the first kiss, honestly I didn’t feel much, it was good on the physical aspect, but then no feelings kind of stuff, not much. Woudn’t say much about it. It was too different and new for me! God know what that would mean?

    IntrigueMe – good to know your views. But then I don’t wana so harsh on him, I mean he appreciates me but then also goes ahead and adds a negative/improvement kind of word to it..

    And you know what Just like you, I was sharing the guilt of whatever happened between us, although I know I shouldn’t, so I’m trying to give him one more chance to show he’s not the jerk that he seemed that day.

    Tnx u guys!
    tc!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s