I want to start this on a good note, so lemme keep what I originally had in mind for the last.
I love this time of the year, Diwali time! The change in weather, the slight chill that catches you unprepared with no warm clothes, the goosebumps (at least I have them), the slow breeze that secretly makes your cheeks and nose tip go cold but hides away when you look around and find its non-existence with no trace of even a leaf moving with it. There is so much to do, so much to look up to.
There’s something afresh about this time of the year.
Yes, the heat is gone, the coziness comes along. Warm mugs of coffee/milk, rubbing hands to make some heat and a wonderful excuse for couples to hold hands. There’s a feeling that winters bring along.
It’s like the cold outside makes my heart even more warm.
*********Saving incomplete post.. need to get back to work.. but i really wanna tell y’all this and write this piece of my heart******************** soon ok…
This time, it makes me want to stop and be. Don’t plan or rationalize, just be there, feel it.
The dry skin and cold creams (pond’s earlier), the cold feet, the geyser (actually looked spell in online dictionary and it also means “a hot spring that intermittently sends up fountain like jets of water and steam into air”), they all are so something, don’t know the word but something.
I always associate winters with long walks, there’s something so good about walking around. I remember me and ol friend, during my last year of college and he had started working, we used to walk
This is totally girl stuff.
I’m sure if the same feelings aer gonna be there as compared to when I started writing this, but nevertheless, for all you wonderful people let me try yet again…..
So, where was I? yes, long walks… Ooohh I just love them. I love the chiselled cheeks and ice cold nose tip (avoid watery nose please), my cold hand and feet, the way my hair cover my ears and save me some chill (dun know wat u guys do about that). It makes me wanna be warm.
I love the long late night chats, the warm vodka and rum(on your preference), there is something so contrasting and yet challenging. Its something like you are living in a condition and trying to beat it. Not like literally fight type, but yes, somehow you try to make the best out of it by trying to get away from it.
There’s this sense of bonding, some strong feel of every connection you have. Now, there might be a scientific reason for this too, like I say (only once i think 😉 ) ‘there’s a scientific reason for just about everything today’. But seriously, it makes our awareness more aware and feelings more feel.
Coming back to why I thought this was about ‘Friends’ because winters is when my friends ( a handful – that’s the thing I didn’t wanna mention in the beginning) come back to Delhi. Few of them are working out of station and when they come back it feels so good. Just the thought, just the idea. I love it!
‘Back home’, this is a beautiful phrase. It can mean so much na… later maybe.
Now see I have a fren ‘S'(if you need some background, you may find much in my Forgiveness blog) whom I haven’t been talking about much, coz there is nothing much to talk about, she’s a different person altogether and I’m trying to be a better person everyday (Don’t try this at home: very difficult and mind fucking) . We were the best of friends and now we are used to be friends. This time of the year reminds me of her too. She’s in town lately and I will meet her this week, but in a different way.
It’s funny how things shape up na? We were like these soul mates and now we’ve become not so much. But you know what, we know each other so well that I think if I want to make a confession and get any burden off I would still consider calling her and I hope she feels the same. We know each other and there’s nothing more. However, I’m glad that we are in touch anyways rather than nothing at all.
Then there’s this another friend ‘Nilu’ from college again. I haven’t ever mentioned him before, he’s the kind of friend you don’t call up everyday, but yes whenever you do you talk for hours and say everything without any fear of being judged or thought wrong about. We make confessions and share lot of stuff, but then its only once in a while and its so cool! He was recently in the city and we met up, initially we thought of calling a few more people but decided just the two of us hanging out. It was great! We talked a lot, him about his life and where he is and his relationship and his plans and me about much lighter stuff like New Guy (who btw sis met and called not-good-looking, so I’m doubting if I’m attracted to not-good-looking types) and what we want and wish for. He also said that we share the same level of thinking and no matter how many years pass away and even if he calls me in 10 years we will still be on the same page, with the same mindset and still understand what the other is saying and feeling. Which is so true and I love him for realizing this and saying it loud too. Isn’t he a sweetheart! YES! YES!
Confession time: Now, I have always thought that Nilu was a very good dateable guy (obviously a few things apart). I mean I KNOW that him and me are not meant to be dating and I have never wanted that, but I love to hear him appreciate me. It feels good. It feels good to be coming from a guy whom I find quite decent and all. Which reminds me that he has actually made a few comments of such interest on me in the past and even the day we met he was like ‘I’m attracted to you now’, but it was all in good spirit. He’s a cute guy and I’m a pretty gal, there’s bound to be some attraction. And the great thing is that in spite of him saying something like that I enjoyed it, took it as a compliment and didn’t feel a bit of awkwardness and was still equally comfortable and friendly. He didn’t offend me at all. Same goes for him, when I told him that I’ve thought of him as the perfect dateable guy, he was happy. We weren’t making a pass at each other or trying to get something out of it, we were just being good open friends.
He left for USA yesterday and will be back in a month or so. Cheers to him and me!
Then there’s this friend of mine ‘A’. I know him since last 5 years and we met on my first temp BPO job that I took up during the 1st year vacations. He was still doing his graduation then and was quite an innocent guy(seemed to be). We have seen each other in being naive and learning and then focused and then working. I have seem him start smoking for social reasons and he has seen me set up innocent adolescent dreams of marrying my first love. It’s like seeing each grow from one phase of life to another. But the thing is that we didn’t meet much or talk much. After my vacation was over I left the job, bought my first branded shoes from the salary (Adidas – with 2 pink stripes running across the sides from the laces to the heel on each side)and went back to college. We kept talking once in a while and he kept hitting on whenever he got a chance. He used to like me from the beginning only and I knew, but I didn’t like him like that at all and he knew that too. He changed work and started getting more focused and I busy struggling to keep my mind sane and finish with college and throughout we kept talking, like catching up with each others progress.
Now, he is working at a good organisation and me too.
I changed my no. and lost his number and then we met again after a year on the DND toll bridge. I was on my way back home in office cab, reading a book and he was also using the same way home. He saw me and started honking, I noticed and tried to ignore once(i think it was a fight we had the last time we spoke) and when he didn’t give up I was like what the hell, he’s an old chap man! So I got off the cab and he dropped me home. We have been in touch since then and met once on a travel back home cum booze in car party. Was fun as I wasn’t drinking then and then a couple of times when he dropped me to office as we share the same route.
We decided on meeting up again and taking the same plan driving home-cum party and the same morning I lost my 1 week new phone in the office loo (Curse you bloody thief.. may you loose all your phones.. may you be deprived of the telephone technology FOREVER!! ) Ahem.. Please excuse the abrupt behavior… Now back to sanity! So, I thought I won’t be able to meet him. Luckily I had his mail id and sent a note to all my frenz with my office number to contact. He called and we met up. Driving and drinking and chatting and him still chance maro -ing. lol! He has a girlfriend now for 3 years and is well settled. They plan to get engaged next year and all. But he has this thing for me, you know that thing that feels incomplete type, like ‘Just if yaar’ thing and I don’t mind it as long as he’s decent which he always is, but we did talk lot of crap the other day, like how if my marriage doesn’t be good I’ll call him first, but he also added he wished that never happens to me. It was fun, enjoying, being with him I always go back to those full of hopes and dreams days. I had a little too much and got off home at the right time coz after that my head was spinning man! literally! I was speaking to New Guy and that reminds me that the day before I met ‘A’ I shared my plans with New Guy and he literally behaved weird, I mean he called me an ass for planning to meet some guy after such long time and drinking with him, I tell you this man is Conservative ( will make Good things and BAd things list later). I had a bloody heated argument with him on this and in the end he agreed that he was wrong, though I still know that he is a conservative head.
Anyhow, so much to completing this, now I’ve lost half my day of work hours, have work pending and need to go back home early today (Bhai Dhuj). But you know what, I love to do this, write and say and more…
Why don’t I just do only this.. ya maybe…..
N btw did i stick to the topic? No, well it’s a perfect blog then.. 😉
Also, love the updated spellcheck on wordpress.