I haven’t been posting lately and there is a perfect reason for it, I didn’t have anything to say. Life was still moving and days were passing and experiences happening, but I had nothing to say, about it, for it, nothing.
So I am posting today, because you know it relieves me to write, anything, something, just write. It brings me some satisfaction. PS: This is one of the major reasons that the idea of being a writer/author feels so right to me.
So, I have been doing good. What about you’al? I hope fine. (now this seems like a letter right? but its good manners to ask how you doing when you meet after a long time right?) You can tell me all about yourself and whats going on in reply, for now let me blabber along.
I’m doing fine, work is good, life is good. We moved our place this month beginning and that was a big thing to get done. Thanks to my mom, nothing at all was packed up for the move, even though I had been reminding her day and night to get on with it. But no, who listens to stupid me right. So I woke up on the day we needed to shift, prayed to god to make this all possible and so easy and quick, changed my clothes and got to packing up stuff into bedsheets. God did listen to me and although it was tiring it wasn’t as difficult as I was dreading. So once again, Thank you God!
Next after we moved, mom had to go out of town the very next day for some urgent work and that left us kids in a mess. We ordered food from restaurants till the next 4 days, not to mention that the place was a mess, no arrangements for water, my clothes, nothing at all. Well, we did get past this obstacle also somehow and then mom came back and at least got the kitchen to usable shape. I really don’t belong to the kitchen and this means that if it wasn’t necessary to get food to your stomach to live, then I wouldn’t have ever seen what a kitchen looks like. I always see myself as the working, earning person, not homely and food serving.
Then after the move, we are still trying to see how to settle in, Why? I’ll tel ya! First the location is not of our choice, we have never lived in flats where you can hear when the person in the net house opens his cupboard. Secondly, the arrangements are somewhat lacking here, we don’t have clean water flow. Its only salty water that runs at all times and for some fresh water you will need to wake up at odd ghostly hours like 3am and get your tanks filled. Otherwise all is good.
Then one of our friends, ‘K’ is leaving for London next week (wow! that’s so a worth writing sentence! my friends are going around the world, someday I will too 😉 ), so we thought of having one last farewell party before he leaves. It was him, me and sis and we all went to ‘Manre’, a place that till my last visit (three weeks ago) was perfect decent crowd, nice music and only a handful of weird people, had now turned into weird place with weird people all over. Well I guess the word spread that its got no cover charges and that’s it. We went in anyways as I was totally no – no on spending a dime and going elsewhere. We made fun of people and their dance and stuff, it was fun and since the place is soo expensive we got the liquor in the car and drank before we entered. We also came down in between to fill up and then moved again for party. We left the place at 2 am, which I may say was way early than our usual party time, but we were all agreed on that. We went back home and again disguised into more clothes before we entered the colony gate and guess what, we say the ladies of the other flats were awake and doing their chores in the middle of the night. Water! Just in case you think my mom would be one of them, then let me tell you, she just swore the other day that ‘I waking up at middle of the night for wait, my foot! go to hell!’ but let the Internet get set up and we’ll find her up till wee late hours stuck to the computer screen like a lizard on the wall.
That’s what happened. But I have been feeling something else all this time. I don’t feel ready to take care of my family yet! Right now I do everything I can, that is majorly get the monthly income and some little bit of chores, but I’m talking of heading the family, taking the decisions. I don’t trust myself and I know I don’t have the knowledge to make the right decision. I wish I knew how its done, how is a home managed, the finance, the decisions, the family trips, but I don’t.
Another thing that’s in my head is change. A change from that place that I am at, a beginner. I want to move ahead of this now. All this while I kept telling myself that I have just started out, that it will take sometime before I reach success (and I really had no idea as to in which field), but now I think I’m ready for it and I’ve even figured out in which field. I won’t tell you’al, you’ll laugh. Okay, its not my job profile right now but its something that I really like to do (even when I have work pending). So how do I get there? Its all about taking the first step right? I will. I am ready for it and worthy as well. Things need to move ahead from here, they have to. I need some change here. A big change, a life turning point, where everything will fall into place and everything will be so clear.
Do you think there is a right time for everything? When and how do you get to know that this is it? Have you ever felt like I feel now? If yes, then how did it turn out?
Just an FYI –> I’ve started the gym again. It feels good and I’m positive I’ll be purchasing 28 waist jeans soon. 🙂