Yesterday’s dream, making me feel lame

I can’t believe this is all that’s left in my life in the name of love/boys/dating/excitement; dreaming of dance instructors whom I’ve never had a personal conversation apart from hi and bye, and whom I’ve not seen in months and who once when we chatted on-line said I think i remember you and gave one word replies and dropped off by saying that I am busy with something.

Not that I’m dying without boys and I still agree that I don’t have time,energy, money or patience to go through a ‘Relationship curve’ (new term right, will explore this in next post) at this time in my life. Reason? you ask (or don’t):

 

Let’s see why I don’t have the time (And all other things depend on time, so this is reason enough) :

a)I work full time that makes it 12-13 hours including my travel time

b) even without a guy in my life I’m snoozing for only 7 hours (it should be minimum 8 hours for computer people i read)

c) then I have to relax / hobbies for some 3 hours

relax activities -be alone, tv, reading, cutting split-ends, staring blankly into mirror, starting at whiteheads on my nose into mirror, music, facebook, reading, writing, trying clothes… kinna stuff

hobbies activities – right now swimming (earlier was dancing)

 

So that totals up to 23 hours, see I got only an hour or two left. 

 

And that wouldn’t be enough right. Why?  you ask (or don’t)

1. Firstly, I would have to find a good guy. That’s so difficult.

2.  Then find out that he’s not looking for serious time devoting girl and neither looking for slut to only sleep with.

3. I will want to know the guy.

 

If someone like that just came in front of me, I would go for it. Believe me!

 

The-kinna-guy-I-would-go-for-right-now list (Sorry I have to mention, you wouldn’t understand otherwise) :

1. He should be smart and presentable.

2. Should be emotionally stable and caring.

3. Should be decently busy and free to talk to me.

4. Should share some personal stuff with me.

5. Should be clear on the relationship status, we’re dating but not committing.

6. Should be rich.  Please I’ve been the one giving gifts and paying(dutching) restaurant bills till now. I deserve some pampering.

7. Should be cool and have cool friends.

8. Should respect women and not brag about our sex life in front of his friends. (sorry I’m drifting to should not’s )

9. Should be a fun person and trying new stuff.

10. Should have a life of his own, where I can visit sometimes.

11. Should be great in bed (I know this is a worldly fact, but I just like to write this, it makes me feel so grown up)

12. Should be understanding and caring. (‘caring’ mentioned people, and this isn’t even a relationship! ha!) 

 13. Our aim of being together should be, having someone to share feelings with, get advice from, have fun with, enjoy time with and some cuddling with (of-course it doesn’t stop there)

14. Dating exclusively is in my head right now, but on other thoughts it seems like too much attachment over time, so I think we can leave out the exclusive part. I’m just saying this, have no idea how this will be if real.

 

Coming back to why I’m writing a my-guy-wish-list and the dream last night.

Guess who I dreamed about last night?  ‘D’, for all those who don’t know him, my x-dance instructor. I know its so lame. I haven’t seen him in months (3 Ithink), no calls (wasn’t any earlier as well) and the only connection that i have with him is that he’s on my facebook friend’s list and the last time the nothing-of-a-conversation that happened online made me feel like an idiot. But he’s so cute. Awww.. I didn’t even think about him yesterday, but yes the day before I did when I saw another of his portfolio pictures added on his profile. He looks hot. He’s been working hard at the gym and has 6 pack abs now, well I don’t know how long he’s had them but I just saw them few days back so OOOhhhhh….

The dream was kina weird, I was with him and we were supposedly in a after the action situation. Then I see my sis with K (he’s a friend of her’s whom she’s fought with and hasn’t been talking to) and they’re dancing, like couple dancing, then there’s some confusion btw me an ‘D’ and next I see I’m luring him. ???

Anyhow, I should stop looking at his pics everytime I’m on facebook. It’s not my fault there’ nothing else to do on it, I hardly have any messages / comments (same as here), there aren’t any friends I need to add, I don’t trust the idea of meeting any new  people online (they might be psycho’s) and then my net speed is so slow that no quizzes open up before 10 min. Then I see his pics on my wall (have to scroll down, its been a while since he put them there) and check them and saw wow! Not my fault! Right?

But never the less, its making me feel so lame. Although I’m clear in my head that you cannot say you ‘have a life’ only based on if there’s a guy/gal in your life, but then looking at D’s pics dosen’t make me feel like my head is clear at all. But yes, some letching is ok sometimes.

Why did I write this? You ask (or don’t).

I don’t know. 🙂

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2 Comments

Filed under books, dreams, family, feelings, friends, habits, Hobbies, Interesting, interpret, life, love, personal, random, reading, realtionships, secrets, sex, thoughts, work, writing

2 responses to “Yesterday’s dream, making me feel lame

  1. Pingback: Topics about People-search » Yesterday’s dream, making me feel lame

  2. newme

    hey,
    tnx for linking me to your site… however, again my name ..please correct it, its NOT ‘Mallbo’..

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