Never in the first go.

I like not to think that this is true, but more than every last time some way I land up feeling so.

Everything I want to do/ buy/ change/get, I never get it in the first go. (And I’m getting a feeling I have been cribbing about this before also) .

If I need to buy something, I have had to wait till the next season and its not because I was lazy, when I want to start something there is always something or the other that gets in the way. And in most recent days, we had to shift to a new place, the perfect house with perfect low rent and then boom! they return the advance money as they have some personal stuff they don’t want to rent the place.

All my life I have shared things with my sister, or more like taken and used what she has thrown away. Her clothes, her toys, her books and I’m telling you it’s not a very nice feeling.

And you what why this upsets me so much, because I usually pile up all my hopes and tie them to this one single thing that I ‘m planning on and if that doesn’t go well then it doesn’t turn out true I am crushed.

I want to believe that this time if this goes well then all will be fine and things will take a turn for good, but if this time isn’t the first time then I have hardly any hope left for next time. Isn’t this rhyming?

I tell myself that maybe something better is waiting for me, better than what I hoped for. But wouldn’t it be so great if for once I got what I wanted at the first chance.

It’s hard to not hope for good things and believe in the good that you cannot see. I hope it is for the good. I hope again.


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Filed under dreams, family, feelings, interpret, life, personal, random, thoughts

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