Fart moments.

Yes, I have finally gathered the courage to tell you’ll about my embarrassing farting experiences.

The regular ones that happen a home happen all the time, so I’m going to stick to the major made-me-red-in-the-face ones.

1. College hostel

It was the second year of college and I had returned after the holidays looking very slim, thanks to the call center job that I had got during the 2 months break, which made me have practically one meal a day. The working hours were weird and I was either sleeping or at work. I ate one meal at the office and stuffed some snacks at home. The importance of drinking water had not entered my lifestyle not effectively atleast. So I was used to staying empty stomach for long time and drink 4-5 cups of coffee in a day. When I got back to college, my stomach had some serious issues. It started behaving weird. There was major hunger-grumbling-type sounds that seemed loud enough to reach the next room. Maybe it was the food, maybe the water or I can even believe it might have been the bloody negativity of that place that made my stomach and digestive system go crazy. Apart from the sounds, at times it seemed like there were mini blasts happening inside my stomach. I could feel the bomb blast type thing happening and to stop that I would suck my stomach in so hard that I couldn’t breathe, then I would slowly retire from the room (which I shared with ‘S’) and find a noisy place to let go of my held up stomach and wait to see what happened next. I don’t remember what happened next though.

So this one lazy day, I was lying on my bed in my room with my back faced towards S’s bed and as our beds were aligned in vertical line to the door I couldn’t see if anyone came in without making a sound. So I was in mid-lazy-boredom-sleep when I felt like relieving myself. So I was lying on my side and I turned my neck to the max to see if anyone was in the room but I didn’t see anyone so I let out the air and was that a fart or what! Seriously, it lasted for atleast 6 -7 seconds and it was loud and continuous like a truck engine starting. After that I heard some faint giggles. I froze! I didn’t have the guts to look back so I starting to act as if I was speaking in my sleep and started mumbling incomplete words making no sense in slurry-deep-sleep voice. I still don’t know exactly but I think S and one more girl were sitting on S’s bed that was the direction I had let go in.  

No one ever mentioned this to me and I didn’t either. In my mind I did imagine them having a bloody laugh later on and several other occasions on chit – chat when I’m not there. 

2. School Hostel

I have done my early schooling in a boarding school for girls, that was made by the Britishers, in the beautiful hills of Darjeeling, West Bengal and this is one of the incidences that embarrassedme to death even though I was so young and there were no boys around.

I was in 4th standard and we had our class going on. As me and my friend Pema were the shortest in the class we always had to sit in the front row. I see a trend here, my friends in school have mostly been short height girls.  So we had our geography class next and I really don’t remember it was before or after lunch and what all I had had. So the class was making hell lot of noise and someone came rushing in saying the teacher was moving towards our class and suddenly the class fell silent. At that particular moment, I farted and it was a very clear sound of suppressed air trying to get out and not able to find a path to get out but finally finding only a small opening and rushing through it. I think that was a shorter fart like maybe 3 seconds and those seconds killed me. I froze again. As soon as my fart sound ended, which was like an inflated balloon was let loose sound, Pema, who was sitting next to me,  turned around to look at the entire class with a wide grin and about to burst into laughs face and I saw this from the corner of my eye and I was so ashamed that I couldn’t get my face up from the book. I kept looking into the book and then the teacher entered and the class started and I had to stand up and reach a paragraph, and I did with my face still stuck on the page s of the book.

I don’t remember how I reacted later. I don’t remember being teased or Pema saying anything to me either.

I hope you had a good laugh! 🙂

Now it’s your turn to share those embarrassing moments ! Go on!

UPDATE:

Totally forgot about this one time when I was in final year of college, me and a girl(same girl mentioned in 1st embarrasing moment apart from S) had rented this one room. It was just one room and one double bed. Whenever her guy came over they left the bed to me and they arranged a mattress on the floor for themselves and there were not doing it yet so I was ok with it all.

So once her guy was there and I was sleeping when suddenly this small fart is ready to come and I’m holding it inside and trying to stop, but I’m sleepy so its difficult to control for long and it gets out. Its a small pop kina sound, but the bloody place is so damn silent that it is very much clear too everyone. After that I start coughing, trying to create the same sound so they will think that it was a cough only.

Few minutes later, hushed giggles heard.

Crap!

No discussion later.

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1 Comment

Filed under feelings, friends, health, life, personal, random, secrets, thoughts, Uncategorized

One response to “Fart moments.

  1. Pingback: Fart moments.

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