I was looking up at my facebook account last night after weeks I think (yes, socialising in any form is so much work for me) and went onto the ‘your March horoscope’ and found that my Lucky day would be ‘Friday’. That’s today..yupee!! you think those things are true??? I so wish. I hope.
This week I might go clubbing, its my sisters birthday on 6th and she wants to celebrate in advance i.e Saturday, so some night out will happen. I wanted to go today because of the lucky thing and in the back of my mind french-dude is coming up as I might meet again possibility (remember I met him on Friday). Then there will be entire ‘where-t-go’ drama and I will suggest the place I met French dude and everyone will make faces like Get-Over-IT ! Its been ages. Well, what can I say, its only human to keep the hope alive but I think the still-trying-to-find-the-French-dude-who-said-lovely-things-and-exchanges-his-number-which-has-been-switched-off-since-then is not normal. Its exposes the I-don’t-think-I’m-exceptional-or-any-good-at-all sulking part of me.
What to wear will be another thing coz now I think I have to get myself a hipster else I will be assumed to be pregnant. Hell man! I want flat washboard abs and naturally too. Nothing doing, no not-eating and stuff. I want hogging on pizzas and yet best abs in the world.
Anyhow, wherever I go I think I will try not to think too much about anything, anything at all and just ENJOY! You think I can do that? I doubt. Let’s try.
While I’m writing this sitting in my office(leaving aside today’s work) and watching people coming in and greeting everyone around and talking about god-knows-what I can’t help but feel out of place. So out of place! Why am I here?
*Major cribbing beware*
Will someone please get me a job that is not what I am right now. PLEASE!! I’m pleading. I am just am on the edge of a emotional breakdown, although I don’t know what’s the exact definition of that. Get me a job in NY, something creative, something I will not mind doing until late hours and get so absorbed in it that it defines what I want and I don’t have to keep questioning myself as to ‘What do I really want?’. Get me money so I can hand it to mom and ask her to do everything she wants and not look like she’s suffering every moment. I want to feel peace. Bring me peace of mind. Being me direction and reason. Bring me balance and happiness. GOD! LISTEN TO ME PLEASE! Please!
I warned you! All hopes on Saturday party.