contradictions to my reality

There is a lot of contradiction between the way I see things  in-my-head & my reality. The difference is so much that I think its two different people at times. To state a few:

In-my-head–>I thought I would sit in my balcony and enjoy the weather
Reality–> I was in my balcony for only 5 minutes before I rushed in to watch tv

In-my-head–>I think of how great my life will be, I’m all successful, independent, healthy
Reality–> I can’t seem to love my job no matter how hard i try, I can’t seem to be healthy for more than 6months and get off my workout regime

In-my-head–>I would love to go jogging in natural environment rather than in a air-conditioned gym
Reality–>I have been to the park only once ever since I left the gym

In-my-head–> I want to live each day to the fullest. These are my young and best years
Reality–> Throughout the day I think of reaching back home and sleeping and weekends I don’t go anywhere to save money

In-my-head–> I love myself
Reality–>I criticise myself to death

In-my-head–>I’m a good friend
Reality–>I’m bloody and brutally judgemental and honest

In-my-head–>I want so many friends
Reality–>I’ve never had more than 2 friends at a time

In-my-head–>I’m a good person
Reality–> I doubt myself every moment of my existence and actions

In-my-head–>I try not to hurt my loved ones
Reality–> I almost do that everyday

In-my-head–>I want to be independent and still have a loving connection with my family and support them
Reality–>Am more criticising than supportive and want them to do nothing with my decisions.

In-my-head–>I am a sensible and mature person
Reality–>I don’t know what and when to say. I’m not even close to ‘M’ of mature

In-my-head–>I have been working for almost 2 years now and have a decent regular life
Reality–>It feels like I’m trapped and living a life of debts

In-my-head–>I want to fulfill all responsibilities for my family and be selfless
Reality–>I have selfish pangs and then I secretly wish I did not have to carry the burden of my family’s responsibilities and live my life for myself

In-my-head–>I should know and learn more about what I do.
Reality–>I’m a software professional and know shit about technology and have no interest in learning any of it. I would rather spend entire day reading, sketching, dancing, writing.etc.

will keep updating as more of these surface..



Filed under dreams, family, feelings, friends, habits, health, Interesting, interpret, life, personal, random, realtionships, secrets, thoughts

3 responses to “contradictions to my reality

  1. hrvega

    if it’s any consolation, the same “in my head/reality” stuff is happening to me. on a daily bases 🙂

  2. Pingback: contradictions to my reality

  3. newme


    It’s really no consolation, I wish no one had to ever feel this way, coz you feel so disconnected to the reality and so much happier in your dreams /head.

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