contradictions to my reality

There is a lot of contradiction between the way I see things  in-my-head & my reality. The difference is so much that I think its two different people at times. To state a few:

In-my-head–>I thought I would sit in my balcony and enjoy the weather
Reality–> I was in my balcony for only 5 minutes before I rushed in to watch tv

In-my-head–>I think of how great my life will be, I’m all successful, independent, healthy
Reality–> I can’t seem to love my job no matter how hard i try, I can’t seem to be healthy for more than 6months and get off my workout regime

In-my-head–>I would love to go jogging in natural environment rather than in a air-conditioned gym
Reality–>I have been to the park only once ever since I left the gym

In-my-head–> I want to live each day to the fullest. These are my young and best years
Reality–> Throughout the day I think of reaching back home and sleeping and weekends I don’t go anywhere to save money

In-my-head–> I love myself
Reality–>I criticise myself to death

In-my-head–>I’m a good friend
Reality–>I’m bloody and brutally judgemental and honest

In-my-head–>I want so many friends
Reality–>I’ve never had more than 2 friends at a time

In-my-head–>I’m a good person
Reality–> I doubt myself every moment of my existence and actions

In-my-head–>I try not to hurt my loved ones
Reality–> I almost do that everyday

In-my-head–>I want to be independent and still have a loving connection with my family and support them
Reality–>Am more criticising than supportive and want them to do nothing with my decisions.

In-my-head–>I am a sensible and mature person
Reality–>I don’t know what and when to say. I’m not even close to ‘M’ of mature

In-my-head–>I have been working for almost 2 years now and have a decent regular life
Reality–>It feels like I’m trapped and living a life of debts

In-my-head–>I want to fulfill all responsibilities for my family and be selfless
Reality–>I have selfish pangs and then I secretly wish I did not have to carry the burden of my family’s responsibilities and live my life for myself

In-my-head–>I should know and learn more about what I do.
Reality–>I’m a software professional and know shit about technology and have no interest in learning any of it. I would rather spend entire day reading, sketching, dancing, writing.etc.

will keep updating as more of these surface..

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3 Comments

Filed under dreams, family, feelings, friends, habits, health, Interesting, interpret, life, personal, random, realtionships, secrets, thoughts

3 responses to “contradictions to my reality

  1. hrvega

    if it’s any consolation, the same “in my head/reality” stuff is happening to me. on a daily bases 🙂

  2. Pingback: contradictions to my reality

  3. newme

    Hey,

    It’s really no consolation, I wish no one had to ever feel this way, coz you feel so disconnected to the reality and so much happier in your dreams /head.

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