Beautiful weather; thoughts!

I already sensed its going to be great weather today early morning while coming to office, I don’t know how, do you think I should go for weather reporter job now? Kidn!

But really I don’t know why and how but while in the cab today I thought to myself ‘its going to very pleasant weather today’ and it is!

So how do i feel ? Hmmmm… Okay I guess!

Much better than yesterday, which reminds me of my findings yesterday (god! I sound soo-geeky!)

Yesterday:

I went back home and was soo feeling good and peaceful. Then I opened my X’s profile and checked what exactly has he put in there about me and here’s what all there was:

1. In his personal details, for the question ‘You can’t live without : Gulfrnd <mynickname>!’ I felt like I was capable of committing murder at that point. *major abusing in my head right now as I’m in office and cannot mouth them*

2. 2 pictures of me in his profile. 1st in a group with his of-no-use-friends and 2nd of me and him sitting on his bike and peeping over a friends shoulder to get into the picture frame and on this one there are comments from people like ‘puraane dost ‘(ol’ friends) and ‘pyaar aur dost khabhi nahi bhulte (you cannot forget friends and love). *major abusing again* Who the hell gives him the right to use my pictures and gain sympathy or anything at all. Asshole! There should be a law against this you know, ‘You cannot use any thing that belongs to your X, pictures, letters, refrences, friends, nothing’ .

Now tell me isn’t this being weird? I still don’ know how will I get the message across to him to remove any references to me and don’t if I should bother at all or not, but its making me furious as hell! Why don’t people just get lost when someone wants nothing to do with them.

Today:

Lets leave the abusing alone and come back to cool, drizzling and sweet chill weather.

Actually it si so true that generally people’s mood is affected by the weather. 

Exceptions:

1. Weather like today and you just had a break-up.

2. Hot, too sunny, t-shirt wet with sweat and you got a promotion, won something or any major happy event.

3. Going for picnic and you got your period.

ah, there can be many..so lets leave them there.

How I feel:

Good! kind of nice. Still major confusion in my head about ‘what am i doing in my life’ ; ‘how will everything change? finances i mean’ and ‘if i should go for dance class or gym?’. but still I’m doing okay.

I feel like going to Barista and hanging out with friends and all but then they would have to be imaginary friends coz i don’t have any real ones and then I would again worry about the money i’m recklessly spending and not caring enough about my family and saving for them. God! I’m so overflowing with GUILT everytime I do something for myself. I know this is not right. But then lets not spoil the good mood! 🙂

Okay also I feel like being artistic and doing something creative. Just got myself a purple pen from the stationary shop downstairs, just felt like. I think i’ll it to write my novel. 🙂

I also feel like being pretty and all. you know with my hair clean and having great clothes and stuff. Not even going why I can’t do that.

Another thing, my hair, i think there’s major thinning happening. I’m guessing its stress and god knows I’ve been stressing out to death for quite sometime now. Also I have dandruff, that was supposed to leave me with winters but has decided to stay back for an extended holiday. Crap! And my scalp gets oily so fast, like the very next day to when I wash and I’m mostly spotted in office like I haven’t taken bath in weeks.  Any remedies please?Please!

I was just thinking of how I’m not addicted to anything. I tried

Cigarettes – they don’t do anything for me. tried for a year and although Is till like the cool factor it has but then can;t make myself do something that gives me nothing and takes away my health and blah blah

Alcohol – It makes me put on weight and if that then definitely has a psychological effect on me that ways. And apart from that I’m can’t. I have been heavily drunk and puked and not remembering what I’m doing but the next day the killer-hangover-headaches and all ‘guilty’ feelings never made me take it up. After all an addiction should make you feel out-of-this-world and that doesn’t include feeling so guilty that you want to kill yourself.

Dope- Nah! I can’t. Just can’t!

I think the only thing I’m addicted to right now is ‘Worrying’.

Atleastthe weather is good ! See the things I depend on for optimism.

Btw still haven’t understood how to use ‘The Secret’. I so need to know that. Teach me universe ! Wil ya?

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2 Comments

Filed under art, dreams, family, feelings, friends, habits, health, Hobbies, interpret, jazz, life, personal, random, realtionships, thoughts

2 responses to “Beautiful weather; thoughts!

  1. cheetah64

    very nice

  2. newme

    Thanks! btw anythn specific u found nice? .:)

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