Nothing much to say..

I’ve had 2 more classes from the last one that I wrote about but i seriously can’t tell anything about them coz there is nothing much to say about them. I say him after a full week and during that week i was too busy with work to dream about him, days went with work loaded and my sleep was tired and only for less hours. Although i didn’t stay back at the office even anyday, but hey that doesn’t say that i didn’t work ok, i completed it all in the time that i am supposed to.

So after the week i saw him and it wasn’t soo good, not sure if the crush had faded or ‘the hang in there’ belief was fading out, but something didn’t seem right. It was like you’re in a coochy-coo relationship and then you are away for a while, no contact at all and then when you meet again its like a different relationship and time. I thought that this might be the end to my crush and it was all just some infatuation i wanted to keep myself happy with but then it seems to be coming back to me. 

I’m not sure that if he only stays in my head when i see him often or it was the ‘nothing happening’ that made it(my feelings) change. Its not like i don’t like him anymore, just yesterday i was looking at him speak and was imagining how it would be to kiss him 🙂 but that waiting for something, some move, some small  gesture is missing. I still notice every time our hands touch but it doesn’t give me a spark anymore. Maybe the week gap brought me back to who i am, a 23 year old working girl and not a 16 year old school going girl. I liked the school going girl, she is kiddish and always smiling in her heart and happy. I also think this working girl doesn’t believe that she is worth him. Yes, I know the confidence and stuff but I really i mean he doesn’t even look at me , like looking at only me type, stealing glances, or i catch him looking my way, no smile, there are no signs whatsoever and no gestures apart from the mistakes and guidance. I do feel he is too good and wouldn’t care to look at me especially since he has so many hot chicks around him. And it makes me think more and more of how i should be slim and sexy figured, not that i am fat or anything  just few extra inches here and there.

Btw i forgot to mention that in my last to last class, we were doing a exercise and i was feeling the pain in my back rather than stomach, he came to correct my posture and put his hand on my stomach, the t-shirt was there but it was slightly up on the side and his had touched my skin. Thinking of that did send a giggly and WOW feeling but at the moment when he was there with me I was too busy trying to hold my flabby stomach in and trying to make it seem flat and toned. GOD!  

I asked him for my feedback yesterday and he said a few things but didn’t seem like he had actually noticed me enough to say anything specific. Huh!

Also I think there is something going on between him and the probation girl who helps  in our class. She is tiny and small and fair and round faced but sexy figure and dances fairly well. I saw then leaving together (on his sports bike) after a class and since the last 2 classes i have been noticing her looking at him very seriously when he gives instructions and then in between she drops her head down to hide the smile on her face, a shy kinna smile. Its almost the look that you have when you are doing some stuff (sexually of-course) with someone and then you have to be very casual and normal in front of a group of people and then you can’t help but keep thinking about how it was and all and images keep flashing in your mind and you automatically smile and then try to hide the smile. I know that look. I really hope that this isn’t true please! It would be unbearable to see him with someone else.

And yes I’m not updating another blog about him until something actually and i mean something worth happens!


1 Comment

Filed under dreams, feelings, health, Hobbies, jazz, life, love, personal, random, realtionships, secrets, thoughts

One response to “Nothing much to say..

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