So I went for jazz class yesterday evening. I said i will not be late and was not( well 5 minutes is ignorable right?). So when i reached he was outside the studio with his batch that has just finished the class. He was standing in front of the door and as i started moving towards the door, he looked at me and reached out his hand to open the door (continuing his talk to the kids surrounding him). Even i was reaching to open the door our hands almost touched before he took back his hand, if only i had been 5 seconds late they would have touched. The thought came to me instantly and i felt stupid and funny. I went into the changing room and there was a pair of jeans and Tee there, i thought they must be his, but i was not sure and didn’t touch them. I changed and slipped at the end of the class (they had just started the warmup) . I kept looking into the mirrors at the front to see him when he comes in. I didn’t see him come in but when i turned around he was sitting just behind me on a chair, only a few step away from me, he was looking down at some papers in his hand and I so wanted to turn around and look at him, but that would only make a fool out of me so i didn’t. But i did steal glances at him in between the workout.
He came in after our first session of workout and took lead from there. He makes the sets of exercises so rigorous and pushes us to go for it. He’s great! In between the push ups he called my name and looked at someone else like last time, he corrected himself and asked where i was, i looked at him smiling and waved, and then he also revised the other new people’s names. I didn’t think that time but am now, did he say my name intentionally? It would be so great if that was true!
Then we got on with the dance and i admired him more. I moved to the front row and looked at him like i was trying to observe the dance, yes i was, but i was trying to get more of him. It is amazing to see him dance. He’s so in control and free and the way he moved. Oh my god! The class ended before i knew it.He said he couldn’t talk to us as he had to leave for someplace. I rushed to the changing room and heard a knock when i was in there, then i heard his voice ‘Is anyone inside?’, I replied ‘ Ya, just a minute’. When i came out he was in front of me, his face looked confused and i couldn’t even smile & just was looking at him. We must have been face to face for 5 seconds, his eyes directly looked into mine and I froze. I moved out quickly and saw the clothes in his hands were the same that i had seen when i came to change at beginging. Oh, i should have touched them, smelled his natural scent. Now I’m not a psycho, the feeling was somewhat like Linsay Lohan has in a movie (don’t remember the name now, its where she has a really bad luck and it gets switched with a kiss), after the hero finds her dripping in a rain he helps her out and they go to his appartment. She puts in her wet clothes in laundry and he takes off his tshirt and give it ot her to put it in, then she smells the tshirt. That feeling. But i missed it.
After that i was picking up my stuff and he came out and his bag was very closed to mine, he asked me to excuse and i moved away, then from my back his voice came ‘can you jut move a little to that side’ and i moved away quickly as i heard his voice. Within this fraction of second I saw he had reached his left hand to give me a slight ‘move to side’ gesture on my waist, but I didn’t feel his hand as i had moved already, if only i was 2 seconds there I would have felt his hand. He picked his shoes and put them on. I wanted to stand and look at him, go and talk to him and I knew he was in a hurry so i didn’t. There was this girl following him around saying she had to speak to him and he said later, so she was basically pestering him.
I don’t wanna be one of those girls who follow him around. I want him to notice me and somewhere in my mind i am entertaining the idea that he already does notice me. Let me imagine this please, I’m happy that way.
I moved out of the room and started leaving, i knew he was going to come ot very soon, so i walked down the stairs even more slowly, but he didn’t come and i was finished with the staircase. I was walking out when i heard his bike start (i had guessed it would be his bike when i came in) and then in few minutes, his bike moved past me. He looked so good. He had his bagpack on and a black helmet and on his blue sports bike. Wow! I started thinking of how it would be to go on a ride with him. I thought about him all the way back home and when i was walking the staircase up to my place, i kinna felt sad that i was not to see him for another 3 days. I have his his picture saved in my office pc (i took copied it from the dance academy’s website), I take a look at it once in a while and adore him. I wish he felt the same for me. And i also wish that he is as good as a person on as i think he is, coz i don’t know who he is from the inside and the outside of a person sometimes is not what it seems.
Don’t really know what i want from all this, but lets hope something good turns out!