A glance at where I am.

I have been working for 1 year and 4 months now( at the same place) and seem to be doing good too. Recently got my yearly appraisal and was very happy with it comparatively to what others in my organisation got, although it was less than my target i has set but its good. I’m happy about it and feeling llittle weird too. I’m happy because its good for me, my family, we can spend more rather the circumstances that we will need to borrow money will be little less or maybe not there at all, depending on how we manage the money, which is another thing I haven’t been able to nail down. And now ‘llittle wierd’  because this means to make all that happy stuff true I will have to be here. I’m not sure how long but still it means that I am certainly here for sometime. But I want a job in New York.  So yes its weird to accept this and all i do is deny it and i think i am happy that way. So lets leave it there.

Then next on my mind is the novel I wanted to write, I made an announcementand have not gone much ahead to anywhere. I was very determined when i said i will start but now its just that i haven’t been thinking about it much. The only thought that comes to me is a commitment i had made to myself and that too to gain pure joy out of it, but I haven’t felt much like moving ahead with it. Its somewhat between lack of ideas and just not getting to a point where i want to write it down. Mostly whenever I have the urge to pen down i start judging it, will anyone read it, will they like it, what about the language and this and that. And then finally i leave the ideas there all grilled up. So I’m thinking that i shouldn’t think so much and whatever crap comes to my mind i will pen them. Later when i get an editor (heheh, i am smiling like an idiot right now) then we can edit the crap and take the best out. 

Then my work on some social help area, ya i did gather my guts and take my first step. Thought of giving it a good shot atleast. now its pending response from the other end. so am bit relieved on that too.

My dance is going great. The twice a week is good thing and like always I’m having fun there.

I have not been to the gym for 12 days now and am in a state of confusion whether to carry on or not. I wanted to try ‘The law of attraction’, ‘the secret’  and get slim and look the way i wanted to be, but am not sure what thoughts i have in mind when i go to the gym, coz if my predominant thought is ‘to loose weight’, then that will not work as according to the  ‘the secret’ it will bring more situations where i have to think of ‘loosing weight’. Then on the other hand what if i go to the gym for fitness, strenght and stamina. Should i quit all that? I’m really confused on this one. But i will find an answer soon.

So that ‘s where I am right now and i think its ok in here apart from the confusion part please.


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Filed under dreams, life, personal, random, thoughts, writing

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