I was really determined that I had to, just had to get a tattoo done last weekend. So i told many people about it, to build a pressure that now i had to get it done since i have blabbered it to so many people and then told at home and got everything ready. I booked an appointment for Sunday with a renowned and expensive tattoo parlor. I took along my sister and brother (as they wanted to come) and had not actually taken a print of what i wanted. now if you have been reading my blog’s then you know that this has been on my mind for almost a year now, but still after so much of research I did not know what i wanted (it a big sign to ignore), so i was thinking the artist would help me with some ideas.
I reach there late than the appointment time due to some cab crisis and they have already moved ahead with the next appointments (i don’t blame them). i was told it will take next three hours to start with my tattoo, so i start going through the designs and decide on ‘Pheonix’, RISING FROM THE ASHES is what i liked and thought it would be something very assuring that i can look at anytime in life, if ever i am going through a slump time and can take a look at it and think of ways to rise up from the bad phase/situation. but then i couldn’t;t actually be full heatedly sure about the design, then my sister insisted on a design, even the guy helping us said it was good, i agreed, the cost was way beyond my budget,i agreed and then we went downstairs to eat something and come back,but i felt so suffocated. Like something you are doing that you don’t want and i spoke to few friends saying how i felt. They all said if I’m not totally sure then i shouldn’t go for it. i didn’t and was feeling sad that i came so close to it and left it all,but then again at least i did listen to my heart and gave it time to love what i will do.
Then my sister gathered the guts to say she also wanted one tattoo. she saw a small design for the ankel and very expensive again. I was so pissed that i was not getting what i wanted that i put some of the blame on her for it and told her since she didn’t help me with it so i won’t either. she herself decided on something and now confirmed if she should go for it, then i said something terrible to her, i told her ” you haven’t earned a penny in 6 months and you are ready to spend 4grands on that small thing” she totally got pissed and said she didn’t want it. We moved back home after that and she wasn’t talking to me after all that. well not that i was interested, until i absolutely had to.
Anyways, my sister is always like this, so extravagant and I’m always trying to save, make sense, sacrifice and she, she loves to spend, to her happiness and joy matter at the moment, even if you have no bread to eat the next day. She never tells me that i should/shouldn’t spend money( well maybe coz I’m always careful) but somehow due to the family situation, I on uncountable events, have had to tell her ‘not to spend so much’ and since she’s not working she kind of has taken this as an ego hurt thing, like I’m telling her that since you don’t earn you don’t spend ( which is exactly what i sounded like about the tattoo) but i don’t mean that totally, a little maybe but that’s coz I’m a fair person, i like to think everyone should get what they have worked for. I hate this, the more old we’re getting the more complicated our fights are becoming. Earlier it was just about pencils, chocolates, then came dresses (still is), then boys ( i have withdrawn from this field now, she NEEDS them so much more) and now weird stuff like money, ego and all. C’mon we’re sisters, we’ve known each other for so long, and now we decide that we don’t understand what each other thinks. Damn! i know we’ll come back together, but i never want these so adult and complicated things to come between us.
Enough drama for one day!