Feeling Outdated.

Oh no I’m not 55 years old cranky lady, I’m only 22 years old, working as a software engineer, supporting my family, trying tomake ends meet and thinking a lot all the time. I don’t feel even up to my age, not in my thinking, actions or otherwise, until recently i went over to my aunt’s place. My grandfather was going to be operated for by-pass surgery and all our cousins and relatives gathered with support and prayers.  So I got talking to my  16 years old cousin and to my shock I realised that I am 23 years old, out of school, out of college and have working for a year now. She updated me with all her school gossip and “in things”. I realised that its different world now and I’m not one of them, careless, carefree, cheerful and full of life.

Its strange but true, I don’t feel like I am not one of them, but thinking of my ways of thinking and living I am. I have more things to worry about than just few guys and my crushes. It also struck to me that I’m no where near what I thought of being when I would work. I dreamt of a life, many friends, parties, work I love, travelling and more than anything I believed all that would come true. i believed that they were not just dreams but my life to be.

Looking at myself today, I have less faith more doubts, less happiness and more regrets, not dreams but goals to achieve. Yes I don’t  run after dreams, but I build them into real objectives, thought and realistic. But somewhere I need the magic again, the magic to keep that eternal faith in myself, think less and go for it and know that only a better world awaits for me.

So I’m updating my list of dreams to be fulfilled  before I turn 25, so that i don’t feel what I feel right now, not lived enough and time passed me without letting em know.

1. Travel alone (another state or country)

2. Get a tattoo

3. Start something new( music/dance/art)

4. Go trekking

5. Complete a book

6. Sponcer an orphan child’s education

7. Start voluntary work for NGo/Street children

8. Adapt a healthy lifestyle for good

9. Organise family affairs

10. be more Accepting

11. Forgive people and forget unwanted baggage

12. Love myself more

13. Be more warm person

14. keep the learning ‘new stuff’ going on.



Filed under life, random, thoughts

4 responses to “Feeling Outdated.

  1. Pingback: What’s your HIGH?? « forgiveness

  2. Pingback: tattoo designs for me please! « My Weblog

  3. Pingback: The wonderful vacation… « My Weblog

  4. Pingback: Looking back at the year start « My Weblog

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