Monthly Archives: April 2008

Current

This is what my current state of life is–> I’m trying hard to be happy but can’t be enough happy. I’m feeling low and sad, have a very rough last week at work, got upset with all that and don’t feel like coming to this place anymore. It would have been better if i had some work, but i know it wouldn’t have been better even then.

Its just so me, an extremist . I always start with enthusiasm, work hard dedicated and when i’m just about to get to the place i leave it, sometimes bored, sometimes dissappointed with the results, other times shaken by a simple discouraging event. At work its just that i don’t have anyone who supports me, thats partly becoz i didn’t be neutral to all. i can’t help ot my feeling are on my face, i can’t keep to my heart and its many times not intentional but it does get me trouble always.

Its funny when you know people will get to you but you just can’t help your behavior.

Apart from the sucked up work, i’ve gone careless on my exercises also. Its not nice, but im jsut looking for something exciting and feasable. Lets see if i find it, else i’l again join the gym( really don’t feel like).

nothing apart from that. i’m just a simple and very unsatisfied person right now. I try to make the best of the situation and but deep inside i know its not what i feel. It makes me wonder if my situation is responsible or me myself. I try to be optimistic but im just loosing it all. Hope i get through this tough time and learn to be happy no matter what.

Hope so!

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Work.. not so good!

Yesterday i really got upset, nothing major happened just that i missed my cab after work and had to wait for next 2 hrs for the next one. I got home late and all this while there was only one thought in my mind that I’m not a people’s person. you know those hey hi, everywhere they go and have fun in the most awkward times, laugh out troubles and make Friends. Well I’m not like them, and i don’t like it. I’m not saying i want to become a freak but i would like to have more acquaintances, more friends and would like to stop being judgemental without getting to know the person.

I think it all happens coz i don’t let my guard off. not in the least. i don’t know how to mingle without telling all your stories and yes i don’t like to tell much about myself unless i like the person.

Its strange i don’t know wen how will i learn all this. but i would like to know how to have these qualities. This unfriendliness of mine attracts unwanted and harmful people. Its not good. there are people waiting to catch you on your mistakes and pull you down but its not right to give them a chance. you need to talk-more, not personal but just simple things. and make good rapport with people at work.

but i don’t know how. its getting me all the negative things right now, this senior tries to pick any mistakes i make and its weird i keep fighting her rather than making peace. the problem is  i dint know the way, the method. but wold love to learn.

if you know what to do.. do let me know!

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