Monthly Archives: August 2007

I neva meant to…..

I’m gifted or have developed a quality to spaek out exactly wat i feel… it comes so easily to me, but i know people have a hard time saying wat they feel..i express my feelings word to word.. its so clear that u can actually feel it coming from my heart…not long after my i realized my gift, i found i was turning it into everything, ever phase and  how i was turning my gift into a mean person…..I had started speaking out my heart in every situation, wenever i wud have an argument r fight, wenever i was frustated…nything .. n nytym..

I said mean things just the wat i felt them at that point of tym. not forever(which was not at al good), i started saying mean and hurting things n it made me feel i had won d battle. by bruising others emotions..so much that they could not argue more…Until i realized that words said can never be taken back.. i had shocked myself… i knew i couldn’t repair the damage done..so now i’ve learn’t to keep my mouth shut on not so good issues and spek out on the good and making people feel good ones…

We say things we don’t mean and feel relieved about being done with it, but in tis selfish act we might end up hurting others.. n sometyms its takes a lifetime to heal that….So i’ve learnt ma lesson..although once in a while i still do it.. but im much better.. n d least that i can do is ..stop myself from hurting my loved ones…..but i know in my heart that i had never meant to..

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The alternative….

Every action, activity, goal, milestone we have has two ways, one that we set in our mind and the other which is there if your plan does not work out..I’m a very organized person and like to plan things beforehand..so if anything deviates from my plan i get worried easily.. and yes i have to confess i panic..i work hard to get things back on track(according to my plan) and only then i move ahead..this entire procedure takes me at-least double the time and effort(n I’m not just referring to official work here)..i do realize that everything has an ALTERNATIVE.. which more or less gets us what our plan had to..but its so difficult to go for the alternative way…

I recently started observing my behavior and wanted to remove this panicking side of it.. it took me and still is a lot of effort.. i have to calm myself and my thoughts and not just realize the alternative to options but also go for them..its made my life much easy but still leaves me doubting my perfection.

What helps most in accepting an alternative is looking at the big picture.. it helps coz u realize how important they are in the long run.. its sumthing like when u have a best friend.. u expect never to fight and never to get hurt.. coz he/shes ur best pal.. but somehow u develop a misunderstanding, say a guy/grl u hv crush on starts seeing ur pal(which might mean the world to you at that time), and u mite stop talking and maintain a distance, coz u feel emotionally robbed and betrayed…and this at times blocks ur friendship and sharing..in the worst case, u might end up losing ur pal..but here’s the trick.. LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE.. its only a crush . not ur boyfriend.. they come and go but friends are for life. they’re ur support system and aways with u. so that saves the fighting and arguing..and loss of a friend..

Believe me alternatives are the best option we have.. in every phase of our life.. its best we learn to accept them and not ignore them.. becoz no matter how managed and particular we are.. how much planning and efficiency we put in.. life is all about uncertainty and unpredictability..n that’s the best part of it.. So don’t panic around like me. n njoy the new and unseen alternatives life offers.. u never know when an alternative becomes your BEST PLAN!!!!

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Just Say it….

Sometimes  I find myself struugling my thoughts , justifying my  ideas and battling myself .. to let go.. don’t think of what happens next. just go and say what u feel like .. ask what’s been on your mind for so long..speak it out..(n here im not talking about the ill feeings..) ..

Why is it so hard to open up.. n just walk upto a person to compliment them.. even if u don”t know them. so wat.??… I get stuck all the time ..not that im dumb or anything,.. just that i hesitate .think if it ok or not..even with the smallest of issues i have to repeat it over nad over that there’s nothing wrong with being  outspoken..

I somehow think its because we all keep ourselves so gaurded all the time .. we are all afraid to seem something.. like vulnerable. stupid.. or even sweet at times..we don’t wan’t others to know what and who we are.. it makes us feel more like being weak and close to being hurt easily..

We fake this image and keep it from reaching out or anyboby from reaching to us. .. but what is we could JUST SAY IT… say what we feel.. how nice u look.. how i admire you.. i’ve had a crush on u for years….i love ur dress… without any hesitation  or fear of seeming transparent…. wiht no fear that the other can just see past through you.. and no fear of being you….

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I relate..

Have you ever HATED anyone…found antone annoying to death.. giving you the creeps…I have.. but u know wats d best way to get over it… relate to them..They say when we deslike someone or something, it in someway reflects some part of ourselves that we want to change..

Believe me i’ve tried this.. i had a friend who was this complete free person, no matter what came up she would never give up n be so easy about it, i’ve never seen her waste her time on any issue for more than 30minutes max…she gave me the creeps .. until i realized how much i hated not to have that free attitude.. i wanted to change myself from the tension freak to free spirited..

its very easy to find whats wrong with others and how they should correct it,, but when it comes to ourselves we just don’t know wats wrong… so here’s a tip… Relate to them… every1 u dont like.. who annoy u.. n u’ll find that we don’t hate them.. we either wanna be like them or we don’t have the guts to accept that we behave similarly and it annoys us…

after all we are all humans …. n if not same than atleast realted..  🙂 

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