Archive for books

Emotions and Bonds *edited title*

{ October 28, 2009 @ 5:47 am } · { Blogroll, Hobbies, Interesting, art, books, dreams, family, feelings, friends, habits, interpret, jazz, life, love, music, personal, random, reading, realtionships, secrets, thoughts, work, writing }
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There are so many meanings to this word ‘bonding’, but what comes first to your mind?

For me, my thoughts run to emotional bonds, bonds of love, bonds of friendship, bongs of adoring, bonds of caring.

Emotions always intrigue me to think more, observe more, see through what appears and what lies beneath, know why you feel a particular way and why not? There’s so much to it and I want to see it, know it. I think that’s why I’m so fond of emotional movies too, like Love Aaj Kal, When Harry met Sally, Jerry Maguire, Wake up Sid, Forest Gump(absolute Fave, I’ll watch it a million times, I think I already know most of the dialogues), Big Fish, Never been Kissed, Made of Honor (Love this, actually love Tom too;) ),P.S. I Love You(awww I cried twice in the first I watch).. and the list can go on. 

Keeping to the original thoughts ‘Emotions and Bonding’. I love to bond, I love the feeling, like you connect, literally like you can sense the existing of this thread that connects you and another person. It feels like you know this something exists and only you can feel this and share this thread/bond, its unique, its only for you too, irreplaceable, absolutely ir-reproduceable. It’s a great feeling!

It might seem that I’m making too much out of a small and very common part of human nature and existence, but,  if you actually stop and think about it, you’ll know that every bonding you share with every person on this earth is so unique. It’s like its your own exclusive antique collection, nowhere else to be found on the earth. Thrilling na! 

I share different kinds of bonding with so many people and this is when I’m not a very social person, so I’m so sure you’all would also have many such bondings…do share…

Friendship Bonding -  Here also there are many types..

I have friends I share a total masti type bonding, we connect on how to have fun and what you find fun. It’s cool! As soon as I say ‘I really enjoy sitting at Nescafe till late nights and sipping coffee’ and the other person says ‘me too’, click, there’s a bonding. Then I have a few friends who might not know much about my personal life and vice-versa, and also we don’t feel there is anything missing if we don’t share it, coz what we’re bonding over is FUN!

There are friends I can talk to for hours without even having to stop for a second to collect what to talk about next. I love this bonding too, the Talk-Talk type, hey! that’s a nice one, I’ll call this ‘Talk-Talk bonding’. It feels so good to be able to say everything in your mind, in fact I think I share this bonding with my blog as well. :) I love this blog space!! I’m a working software engineer adult! Believe me!/? lol!

Another very unique bonding in friendship is that comes from books & reading. I love this one too. Now I may not know much fancy authors and I usually stick to popular fiction stuff until this last time I went to Connaught Place and picked up random books whose summary seemed interesting from a second-hand books shop (if anyone want to know, it’s the Book corner next to Plaza) and it made me feel all like ‘great reading taste and stuff type’ and the books were all good too (see my novels I’ve read links on right hand). I love to talk about the writing skills and how you interpret these words and how the other person feels about it, and the great thing about this bonding is that it exists even if the ideas you have are totally different, like opposites. It actually excites me to know that a person could find a piece so contrasting to how I felt and interpreted it. I find this different mind and thoughts type stuff quite interesting. I should have so gone into psychology. ‘The bloody list of  Should’s ’ again. Hey next post on this, or maybe a book? You’ll read na..?

And another unique bonding I can think of is the ‘Altering bonding’, this happens that you may connect every time on a different thing, not like every time, but like frequently. And I think this one leads to one of the best friendships you have. I love friendships. I love to care, be cared for, to share, to confess, to console… awww… I’m all aww type now, *back to normal please, I’m in office remember!*

Also, yes I missed the ‘Confess All bonding’, there are some people you feel you can say anything to and they will not judge you for it. I confess to sis and I love her for not judging me, although her love for baby sis does surface and she advices me a little later, but never judges me. Another friend ‘S’ I used to confess to, but now things have gone sour, she was in Delhi and I called her to meet up, then she got busy and left without even talking and then I saw he status on Facebook reading that ‘if we just accept people the way they are no one would end up loosing friends’ and I knew that was for me. She doesn’t consider me her ‘confess all friend’ anymore, or even just a friend. It makes me sad. Really! I lost one very unique bond from my collection and with a  lot of pain in my heart!  But I don’t think about it much as it has been like this for a while now.

Other Bonding -  Now I didn’t want ot put there something like ‘Love Bonding’ or something, coz I feel the source of all the above and next to come bonding is Love is some way or the other.

There’s also this ‘Adoring Bonding’ that might not totally be two-sided by I’d still call it a bonding and add it to my collection please. Sometimes, you find some people so adoring, like you can just sit and watch them/listen to them/observe them. You might adore them for their beauty, intelligence, art, talent, easiness, style, arrogance. It’s so great. I observe strangers sometimes, behaving, reacting, being themselves as in their routine ways. I like to admire the everyday routine-ness of it all, the casual natural and everyday general reactions and behavior. I also adore a few more people, for the way they are or secretly for the way I wish I could be. I love to adore…love.. This bonding make you feel so warm and human (god know why I need to feel this all the time.. wat re-assurance do I want? that I’m not a dog? .. lol! On a serious note, I think I just love to feel that I have a heart. Whatever sense that makes!)

Then there is this ‘Protective Bonding’, like you just can’t help but feel so protective of the other person.. oh, this reminds me of Edward Cullen “I feel very protective of you”, do you guys notice the way his lips move up from the corners showing his fang teeth. Ooohhh… I love this decent vampire.. lol! Anyways, so yes, about feeling concern for a person, like you  know they deserve all the good and you want to make sure they get it. It may be your sibling, friend, someone else. It’s all about the concern. I have this bond for my baby bro. :)

One more interesting one I remember, I’ll call it the ‘You as Me Bonding’. You know sometimes when we feel every joy and grief of another person as it is our own. Like anything good happens to them and you start jumping like it was happening to you. Like I told you’all about this friend of mine ‘Nilu’. See me and him, we are so close, like we don’t know each other’s family troubles or other deep feelings, we do share stuff on life, aspirations, feelings, thoughts but all in general, sometimes each other’s relationship stuff also, but when he told me he’s going to New York, I was so happy. I could feel the happiness and I knew when its my turn then also I would feel something very similar. I also adore him  lot. These bonding are the type that make you feel that even if you meet the person after 10 years or talk after ages (like me and him, we have gaps of months) even then everything will be the same, nothing changes between you two. You both might change to become different people in your own lives, but when you’re together, sharing that bonding space, then everything remains as it was 10 years ago. I fee in this bonding there is also a  very strong sense of understanding and being on the same level of thinking. Yay! I have someone like that! You should too…its lovely!

I think I’ve exhausted this page.. :)

Just one more bonding space I can think of right now, ‘Interests bonding’, when you bond over interests. I know I mentioned books above, so maybe that can go over to other interest too… any hobbies you have. Mine are sketching, reading, music, dancing, travelling, writing,.. and so many.

What the hell am I doing stuck in this cubicle and popping my eyes out for hours in front of this computer??? I Should be an artistic person, I am an artistic person…

Fuck type stuff happens… I guess just being practical and getting the bills paid.. lol!

And Last but not the least, to end on a good note, I love the bonding I share with everyone who reads my blogs and has a word or two to say to me! I love it when you guys comment. It makes me feel so worthy that you take the time to say something to me! really? I mean this is a fast time and money is time, so when you stop and share, I’m honored. Also, it makes me believe a little more in myself, you know writer and all. :)

Keep the comments coming darlings!!

Carrie Bradshaw “quotes”

{ October 20, 2009 @ 3:54 am } · { Interesting, art, books, dating, feelings, interpret, life, love, personal, random, reading, realtionships, secrets, sex, thoughts, writing }
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After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is breath and reboot.”

“They say life’s what happens when you’re busy making other plans. But sometimes in New York, life is what happens when you’re waiting for a table.”

 

“What ultimately defines a relationship is another relationship.”

 

  “To be in a couple, do you have to put your single self on a shelf?”

 

“In a relationship, when does the art of compromise become compromising?”

 

“If you are single there is always one thing you should take out with you on a Saturday night… your friends.”

 

      “If two people have only one thought between them, something is very wrong.”

 

      “Maybe men and women aren’t from different planets as pop culture would have us believe. Maybe we live a lot closer to each other. Perhaps, dare I even say it, in the same zip code.”

 

      “Can you really forgive if you can’t forget?”

 

“Balls are to men what purses are to women.”

 

      “I got to thinking about relationships and partial lobotomies. Two seemingly different ideas that might just be perfect together – like chocolate and peanut butter.”

 

      “The Eskimos have hundreds of word for snow but we’ve invented three times that many words for relationships. What really defines a relationship?”

 

      “Suddenly, I felt like I was wearing patchouli in a room full of Chanel.”

 

      “Every once in a while, a girl has to indulge herself.”

 

New York is definitely haunted. Old lovers, ex-boyfriends, anyone you have unresolved issues with you are bound to run into again and again until you resolve them.”

     

“It’s like the riddle of the Sphinx… why are there so many great unmarried women, and no great unmarried men?”

 

“You can’t be friends with a squirrel! A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit.”

 

     Carrie : I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love. And I don’t think that love is here in this expensive suite in this lovely hotel in paris.

 

Carrie : That attitude, by the way, that awareness on the part of a woman that time is a-tickin’—it’s very sexy to a man.

 

Carrie : It’s really hard to walk in a single woman’s shoes — that’s why you sometimes need really special shoes!

 

Carrie : Think about it. If you are single, after graduation there isn’t one occasion where people celebrate you. … Hallmark doesn’t make a “congratulations, you didn’t marry the wrong guy” card. And where’s the flatware for going on vacation alone?

 

Carrie : People say ‘Everything happens for a reason.’ These people are usually women. And these women are usually sorting through a break-up. It seems that men can get out of a relationship without even a ‘Goodbye,’ But, apparently, women have to either get married or learn something.

 

like a Gefilte fish to water

 

Carrie : Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn’t fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it’s comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away.

 

Carrie : I used to think those people who sat alone at Starbucks writing on their laptops were pretentious posers. Now I know: They are people who have recently moved in with someone.

 

Carrie : Someone once said that two halves make a whole. And when two halves move in together, it makes a whole lot of stuff.

 

Carrie : I got to thinking about relationships and partial lobotomies: two seemingly different ideas that might just be perfect together—like chocolate and peanut butter

 

Carrie : In the end I decided I was definitely 34 going on 35, but in a city like New York, with its pace and its pressures, sometimes it’s important to have a 13-year-old moment. To remember a simpler time when the best thing in life was just hanging out, listening to records and having fun with your friends. In your very own apartment.

 

Carrie : When you’re a teenager, all you want to do is buy beer. But once you hit 30 all you want to do is to get carded.

 

Carrie : One woman’s pornographer is another woman’s spiritual leader.

 

Carrie : If I could master a stick shift, could a successful relationship be that far behind?

 

Carrie : It was a typical downtown male mix. Ten percent Wall Street, ten percent real estate, and ten percent [Samantha had] already slept with.

 

P.S: copied them so I can read then anytime. I’m a fan of these words…. FAN!!

Radiance of Ashes by Cyrus Mistry

{ October 20, 2009 @ 3:07 am } · { Interesting, books, dreams, feelings, interpret, life, personal, random, reading, thoughts, writing }
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Its been a while since I finished this one, but as per my usual self am writing about it much later.

Anyways, so I like this book. I like the character, choice of words which is simple yet explanatory, the language, the details that are not too much over everything but give you a good picture to be with the story.

The story however is nothing much, simple and short, revolving around this one loser type guy and his attempts ignore the loser in him. In fact, if I were a mean critic I would say the story is nothing at all. But still, the writing keeps you involved and makes you continue on with those pages. It’s a good read actually!

 

Coming to how I associate to it, an aspiring writer! Wanting to be something but not having the guts/belief to come out with it. There’s some parts of this character ‘Jingo’ that are so exposed and vulnerable that it makes you feel without cover.

 I really liked it! Not a must read for all, but yes aspiring writer MUSt read! There’s a lot to earn about how to keep words alive and imagination rolling even when you don’t have a full on drama story plot.

Rays of Hope..

{ October 8, 2009 @ 12:55 pm } · { Hobbies, Interesting, art, books, dating, dreams, family, feelings, friends, habits, health, interpret, life, love, music, personal, random, reading, realtionships, secrets, sex, thoughts, work, writing }
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Every now and then we fall away from our dreams, we drift to ‘to-do’ lists and other important stuff. Exhaust life out of ourself hoping, just hoping we will ge where we want. Then what about today? Now? Where you stand? Doesn’t that count?  I didn’t wanna get to sadistic, but seems like I’m quite a natural at it. lol!!

 

Anyways, so I wanted to say was that sometimes the simplest of things give you hope to dream again. Some kind of unwavering faith that we carried in our childhood comes back, even if for a moment. It may be few words, an event, something , anything. It makes you believe!

I love that feeling. It brings me to a place where everything I want is waiting for me to want it and believe in it. No questions, no logic, it just is!

I recently went to watch ‘Wake Up Sid’ with New Guy and it brought me back to wanting what makes me happy. To write, to believe, to be different, to be me. I want to be a writer, someone creative, someone original. Me!! So self obsessed ?? Ya Ya …

Btw did you notice that I haven’t been updating anything about New Guy?? You see the non-existence of even an E of  excitement, I do!! More on this later … Maybe.

 

I can’t say why do I loose track of these hopes. But having said that I’m still hanging on, I mean I’m in the office right now, on an important conference call about the hectic work that will be coming up and what and how to go about it, but still, I’m completing this blog. You see!!

One more thing that gets me back to those lovely dreams of a fab life of being a writer(freelance if I may please), living in New York and also if you would just throw in a Fab Bod and great Fashion sense… Do I hear Sex in the City?? YES Please… :)

Hopes of an innocent person.. too much to ask for?? Nooo!

Okay, Now I’m certain you’re thinking I’m crazy, idiot and immature. But you know what? I think that’s what you should be, crazy enough to love your dreams and not care about being thought as crazy!!

Also, a good read makes me all energized and ready to carry my notepad/diary around all the time. I love to read! I love words and how they bring alive everything they touch, the messages they carry, the warmth they carry, how just within seconds of moving your eyes from left to end of the page you start feeling sensual or whatever, also how they make you want to snuggle up with be in love. They bring your emotions out to the open and play around.

Okay,  I really need to get back to work now.. lol!! I wish I could stay and say so much more…

Later.. later…

PS: I just started reading a blog and it was a guy writing poetry.. wow!! n good stuff!. I didn’t know such guys existed.. Did you?  ;)

 

 

 

 

While I’m at work and getting bored, lets gets imaginative

{ May 21, 2009 @ 5:13 am } · { Interesting, books, dreams, family, feelings, friends, interpret, life, love, personal, random, realtionships, thoughts }
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Now I could be cribbing about my life and how nothing is what it should be and where is God and why isn’t he showing some pity or justice(whichever works) on me, but instead I choose to write and think about ‘how I want things to be’ .  I’ve certainly become mature, okay might call it ignorant and kiddish too, whatever.

A day in what seems to me like an Ideal life:

I wake up in the morning (not too early and not too late) in my big comfortablebed with fluffy pillows, I get fresh and my body feels so relaxed and rested, my washroomis perfect, with all the lovely smelling towels and shower gels, a big mirror and enough space to dance around, the tiles are great and the marble shiny. I go to my dressing room and see the wardrobe, its full with best collections, formal, casual, party, evening, workout. Mmmmm. Its sounding almost delicious. The dresses are neatly put together and they are all my fit, which is 32-26-34. I pick out a short grey checked skirt and a nice soft blue V-neck , 3/4th sleeves top. The look is perfect, the skirt rising upto my mid thigh, no, lean and toned mid thigh and the top hugging me yet comfortable and slowing off my tiny waist (26), yet its all  a casual look, something I just picked up and made no efforts to decide at all. My hair is long and volume-nous and shiny, they are dark brown and thick and strong. I go to the kitchen and see my cook cum housekeeper (someone like Tony Miselly in ‘Who’s the Boss’ only without the attraction part) has already made wonderful breakfast, healthy and yummy too. I take my breakfast reading newspaper (entertainment column ofcourse) and relax and feel great about a new day. After a while I move to my study and get creative (writing my 5th novel i.e  after the first 4 bestsellers ) and spend sometime there. I come back to take lunch (again healthy and yummy) and then watch some tv, rest, walk around my green lush garden. Early evening I change into my workout gear, take my car and go for a workout session with my personal trainer (dance/kick boxing /something exciting) and after an hour and half of great workout I move back home. I shower and relax. In the evening I go to meet few friends and enjoy myself. We talk have fun and laugh a lot. I come back home to get ready for a party and then my boyfriend comes to pick me, he’s handsome, genuine, hot, smart and caring and loving, and we go to party. We have a great night and we head back to my place. Rest good things happen. The morning I wake up and he has makes some breakfast in bed for us. Mmmmmmm..

I also keep reading new books, attending launches, meeting new circle of friends every other day, have my set of gal pals. I also take up many other activities, working for an NGO, taking new activities, going on adventure trips, art lessons, meeting new people,  shopping, talking on phone to BF while he’s away, talking to family, more social work etc.

Life is good, rather GREAT!!!

Aaahhhhhh…that’s so my life.

Yesterday’s dream, making me feel lame

{ May 9, 2009 @ 4:58 am } · { Hobbies, Interesting, books, dreams, family, feelings, friends, habits, interpret, life, love, personal, random, reading, realtionships, secrets, sex, thoughts, work, writing }
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I can’t believe this is all that’s left in my life in the name of love/boys/dating/excitement; dreaming of dance instructors whom I’ve never had a personal conversation apart from hi and bye, and whom I’ve not seen in months and who once when we chatted on-line said I think i remember you and gave one word replies and dropped off by saying that I am busy with something.

Not that I’m dying without boys and I still agree that I don’t have time,energy, money or patience to go through a ‘Relationship curve’ (new term right, will explore this in next post) at this time in my life. Reason? you ask (or don’t):

 

Let’s see why I don’t have the time (And all other things depend on time, so this is reason enough) :

a)I work full time that makes it 12-13 hours including my travel time

b) even without a guy in my life I’m snoozing for only 7 hours (it should be minimum 8 hours for computer people i read)

c) then I have to relax / hobbies for some 3 hours

relax activities -be alone, tv, reading, cutting split-ends, staring blankly into mirror, starting at whiteheads on my nose into mirror, music, facebook, reading, writing, trying clothes… kinna stuff

hobbies activities – right now swimming (earlier was dancing)

 

So that totals up to 23 hours, see I got only an hour or two left. 

 

And that wouldn’t be enough right. Why?  you ask (or don’t)

1. Firstly, I would have to find a good guy. That’s so difficult.

2.  Then find out that he’s not looking for serious time devoting girl and neither looking for slut to only sleep with.

3. I will want to know the guy.

 

If someone like that just came in front of me, I would go for it. Believe me!

 

The-kinna-guy-I-would-go-for-right-now list (Sorry I have to mention, you wouldn’t understand otherwise) :

1. He should be smart and presentable.

2. Should be emotionally stable and caring.

3. Should be decently busy and free to talk to me.

4. Should share some personal stuff with me.

5. Should be clear on the relationship status, we’re dating but not committing.

6. Should be rich.  Please I’ve been the one giving gifts and paying(dutching) restaurant bills till now. I deserve some pampering.

7. Should be cool and have cool friends.

8. Should respect women and not brag about our sex life in front of his friends. (sorry I’m drifting to should not’s )

9. Should be a fun person and trying new stuff.

10. Should have a life of his own, where I can visit sometimes.

11. Should be great in bed (I know this is a worldly fact, but I just like to write this, it makes me feel so grown up)

12. Should be understanding and caring. (‘caring’ mentioned people, and this isn’t even a relationship! ha!) 

 13. Our aim of being together should be, having someone to share feelings with, get advice from, have fun with, enjoy time with and some cuddling with (of-course it doesn’t stop there)

14. Dating exclusively is in my head right now, but on other thoughts it seems like too much attachment over time, so I think we can leave out the exclusive part. I’m just saying this, have no idea how this will be if real.

 

Coming back to why I’m writing a my-guy-wish-list and the dream last night.

Guess who I dreamed about last night?  ‘D’, for all those who don’t know him, my x-dance instructor. I know its so lame. I haven’t seen him in months (3 Ithink), no calls (wasn’t any earlier as well) and the only connection that i have with him is that he’s on my facebook friend’s list and the last time the nothing-of-a-conversation that happened online made me feel like an idiot. But he’s so cute. Awww.. I didn’t even think about him yesterday, but yes the day before I did when I saw another of his portfolio pictures added on his profile. He looks hot. He’s been working hard at the gym and has 6 pack abs now, well I don’t know how long he’s had them but I just saw them few days back so OOOhhhhh….

The dream was kina weird, I was with him and we were supposedly in a after the action situation. Then I see my sis with K (he’s a friend of her’s whom she’s fought with and hasn’t been talking to) and they’re dancing, like couple dancing, then there’s some confusion btw me an ‘D’ and next I see I’m luring him. ???

Anyhow, I should stop looking at his pics everytime I’m on facebook. It’s not my fault there’ nothing else to do on it, I hardly have any messages / comments (same as here), there aren’t any friends I need to add, I don’t trust the idea of meeting any new  people online (they might be psycho’s) and then my net speed is so slow that no quizzes open up before 10 min. Then I see his pics on my wall (have to scroll down, its been a while since he put them there) and check them and saw wow! Not my fault! Right?

But never the less, its making me feel so lame. Although I’m clear in my head that you cannot say you ‘have a life’ only based on if there’s a guy/gal in your life, but then looking at D’s pics dosen’t make me feel like my head is clear at all. But yes, some letching is ok sometimes.

Why did I write this? You ask (or don’t).

I don’t know. :)

The WHITE TIGER by Arvind Adiga

{ May 4, 2009 @ 2:59 am } · { Hobbies, Interesting, books, personal, random, reading, thoughts, writing }
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white-tiger

I just finished the book this morning on my to the office and the fear of which parts of it are the reality is consuming my mind. As the book talks, I being from the Light am scared about how much of truth is there to the way the people from the Darkening think.

The book narrates the life and thinking of a servant from India. Quite a narration and great content. Its not screaming about slums and only poverty but also takes you through how these people live and watch the richer class enjoying and what tempts them (seriously, I am never going in a car with a driver wearing short skirt or plunging necklines. Not that I did until now.. But now I’ve sworn not to) and how being serving a master is in their blood.

Hats off to the plot, narration, language, the explanation, the thrill and the writer. A great work and this being his first book was even more appreciable. Everyones’ first book  should be appreciated. Remember that and me ok.

I suggest it to everyone, absolutely everyone.  The style that keeps the narration so clear and understandable, the little details between masters and servants that you never knew being surfaced in its original form, the thought process of a person from a different upbringing being so vulnerable yet dangerous.

Go ahead and but it. Totally deserves the Award.

PS: did you’al like the image? I got it in a mail this morning and copied it here. Its so fierce na?

Life this week

{ May 1, 2009 @ 4:17 am } · { Hobbies, Interesting, books, dreams, feelings, habits, health, jazz, life, personal, random, reading, thoughts, work }
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Life has been good this week. Over the last weekend I thought of some ideas and implemented them and they turned out great, then I got too happy I think and that’s why there was a little problem, and the more I thought about the problem I started sliding into self-doubt and tried hard to pull myself back on confidence. After the trying it all became fine again and here I am talking about it and if you’re not getting a word of what I’m trying to say, let me explain.

The last weekend after reading about the right career and such stuff, I settled upon the idea that I have no clue as to what I actually wanted to take as career, I wanted to write but then I also know that writing alone cannot make you carry the family responsibility for a long time and knowing even if little about me, you’d know that I cannot afford to start from scratch now. Then I thought about what I have with me and why was I ignoring it. I have a decent paying job, free food, travel facility and relatively easy work. I clearly excel my expectations levels with not much effort and that’s how it is. It might not be what I’m passionate about but it is not bad either. Finally I decided to move my current career from ‘tolerant’ to ‘Easily Doable’ category. I decided that I will not carry any burden of how ‘I have to do this’, but will think of ‘how easily I can do this and get all the advantages it has’. And that worked.

I cane into work with a different perspective, and even though right now writing this seems more interesting and fun to me I will get back to the work pending on my desk without any hard and bitter feelings. That’s how I changed the way I looked at it and you know what happened, the next day I got nominated for an Excellent Performer type award. Its not a big deal, but then it meant something to me. I did get nominated once earlier too, as my senior had told me, but I don’t think she did nominate me, coz I didn’t see the nomination mail for & also nothing came of it, anyhow this time I she did bcc me the mail and I was happy.  I am good at what I do and can so easily perform well, so why not make use of it and in the mean time I also get time to do other stuff.

Then I had to take the laptop home to test some connectivity before hand and then I didn’t know that it needs to have some files moved in office before you use it from home, so I took it home, couldn’t connect and then everyone telling me you should have asked before taking it home. Okay I understand I should have asked, but how did others handing it to me assume that I knew it. I got little worried about if was too happy and this had to happen and then kept thinking in the night about how I face the situation and decided on not slugging but being upfront about it and saying that ‘Yes, I did not know how to set it up and on my part I did mistake on not asking, so lets see what we can do now’. Next day, that’s what I did and it worked fine, I got some doubtful looks and questions and I answered them correctly, nobody told me it about the process and said it was a must and I didn’t know so the question didn’t come to my mind. I felt so relieved. Also, I learnt a small thing about how to accept when you’re on mistake and not feel like a looser. We’re human remember and humans make mistakes, everyone of them, manager, CEO everyone.. But I’m hoping this doesn’t impact on my award nomination.

Now all has worked out find. My senior also took the laptop home to try for herself,but she couldn’t get it working either. See, we need to learn to start.

Yesterday, me being part of the event organising people had arrange some games and fun stuff for work people. It was all good and I landed up calling out “One Nine, eighteen” . Everyone laughed, little embarrassing but I need to get easy on being made fun of too. Human again!

I also finished this book ‘A hungry tide’ I had been hanging onto for a long time and now started another. I just can’t see myself leaving something half way, I feel guilty about it and pick it up again to finish it. I know, I know, I need to ease up on myself right. Just that these notions in my head make me feel unworthy and guilty if I do something like that. anyways finally its over.

Today’s Friday and I’m happy that it is. Its been a week of deciding, implementing, faltering, accepting your fault, being laughed at , accepting being laughed at and now some work too. Long week huh!

So another update is that jazz dance is held off for another 2 months, (stop rolling your eyes and calling me ‘Lazy’) I’ve signed up to learn swimming for these two months and I’ll be going for 3 days a week, so 3 days swimming and 2 days dance would’ve been too much for me. I was ok with the 5 days occupied plan, but then I saw myself worrying over ‘will I be able to cope up’ and decided that these were supposed to be hobbies and fun and not stressing out stuff. So it’s one hobby at a time, and then I also have myself signed up for dance after these 2 months so no worrying, its not going to run away.

I start swimming lessons from tomorrow, still haven’t got the swim suit yet. Reebok and Adidas, here I come. I’m a little nervous and little excited. :)

Any tips for beginners? the swimsuit?  Do’s and Don’ts? Tell me, tell me. 

And all who’re thinking of advising ‘Do Not Drown’,  I have that in my mind already. :)

PS: Too many smiles on this post right? :) see again, Its how I’m feeling!

                                                                                 ***End***

A Hungry Tide by Amitav Ghosh

{ May 1, 2009 @ 3:21 am } · { Hobbies, books, interpret, personal, random, reading, thoughts, writing }
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I was trying to explore new work and other unexplored boundaries of fiction when I picked this book and after completing it I’m not sure if I’m up for ‘less story, more pages describing complex backgrounds and setup’ kind of fiction yet.  

I think Harry Potter’s wizard world was much easier to believe and understand . With all due respect for the writer’s effort and winning some Book Awards he has won, but what I have come to believe is that, for every person there are always some areas of reading which you will not related to, its something like an English literature student is put to History lectures. He wouldn’t find the interest right.

Coming back to the book, the fiction was actually not very easy to understand. You don’t get what oars and fishing techniques are even after you complete the book. The entire plot was so difficult to keep up with, it was only half way through the book that some story building comes into picture and that’s when I got interested. And the last few chapters I did like but apart from that I wouldn’t have picked the book had I known the plot. However again the story keeps you pulled in with the two simultaneous stories going side by side. When you are just getting interested in one, the chapter ends and then next story starts, so you complete that to get to the continuation of the first story and then you also get curious about the second.

Overall, good fiction but I didn’t see the story telling. For me, I wouldn’t be pulling out another book from the author until I know the plot is somewhere near to reality or understandable at least.

Too far fetched fiction for me.

I still feel like..

{ April 8, 2009 @ 5:46 am } · { Hobbies, Interesting, books, dreams, family, feelings, friends, health, interpret, life, love, music, personal, random, realtionships, secrets, thoughts }
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Some random feelings that linger onto me, some from the past long gone, few from a future not seen yet, a sprinkle of hopes and dreams that seem so real.

Few things that I feel like…

Being a child, innocent and wanting to be taken care of.

Lost in this fast paced world.

Things will turn out for the best, they will.

School days weren’t so long back.

Life is going to be much better than I can imagine.

God exists, he listens to me sometimes, he looks over me.

Dad is still around me.

Dancing in the rain.

I will meet the love of my life & I will be the love of his life too.

Life will dance with me and sing sweet tunes.

Playing in the grass and running around .

Fairy-tales and magic is real somewhere.

I need a hand to make me feel safe.

Dancing with full on dramatic expressions to bollywood songs.

Taking part in plays at schools and all the rehearsals and changing rooms.

I belong somewhere, just don’t remember it.

Sketching, painting, coloring away, no where to go, nowhere i need to be.

Screaming at the top of my voice.

Playing hide and seek.

Butterflies in stomach.

Being excited as hell, for no particular reason.

Being famous, happy, rich and beautiful. I see it sometimes!

Feeling content!

Have you got something, some feelings you wanna share… please share if you have!

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